nothing like us

Chapter 35

January 14 2017

BELLA

You know the saying, 'this is the worst day of my life'?

It's so overused, I mean probably about a billion people will say that at least once a day. Sometimes we just think it, like when your boyfriend breaks up with you, it sure as hell feels like the worst day of your life. When you lose your phone, when you take the wrong bus, when you forget your project on the kitchen counter the day you have to present it.

I've probably said it at least a couple thousand times in my life, but there were only a few times where I actually meant it. For instance, the day I lost my virginity. That was surely the worst day of my life, it was the worst feeling I had ever felt. At the time.

Then my dad died, and that for sure was going to be the worst day of my life. I mean what could top that? My father was gone, my best friend was dead. He was killed, in cold blood. That, was the worst day of my life.

But then I met Justin, and I always said that was the best day of my life.

Then, he said said all those hurtful things to me in malibu, and I thought that was the worst day of my life. Then, I found out he had a fiancée and that, well what could top that? Oh right, I had to find out that he married said fiancée on my first day of my new job as his assistant. What could possibly be worse than that?

Maybe it was when his wife told me that my father deserved to be killed in cold blood while protecting people from bad guys. Or wait, maybe it was when he so passionately admitted that what he felt for me wasn't love, that every single moment, every word, every 'I love you' was just his way of trying to get over his wife. Oh, and my absolute favourite part, everything was a lie. Every kiss, every touch, every single time he freaking looked at me was just a facade.

I mean that- that. Has to be the worst day of my life right?

Well it isn't. In fact, we have to rewind to before he said that our time together was a lie, before his wife turned my hero into an alcoholic, before I got this stupid job, before I found out he was getting married, and before he called me a slut because he let other people get to his head.

Let's rewind to the day that I met Justin Bieber. THE worst day of my life.

If I hadn't met Justin Bieber my life wouldn't have been the shit show that it is now. If I didn't meet him, I could've saved myself all this heartache and regret. If I didn't meet him, I wouldn't be feeling the worst pain that I have ever felt in my whole entire life.

Why god? Why, out of all the shit that you've thrown at me, why did you need to make me fall in love with Justin mother fucking Bieber? Why him? Why! What is so great about that asshole that he needed to fuck up my fucked up life. What?

Sure, you've bestowed him with an above average penis, and some super human good looks. Sure you've given him enough money to feed Africa, but why did you need to put him in my life? Why? He would've been fine, with his perfect wife, and his perfect company, and his perfect house. He would've been fine ruling the fashion world, he would've been fine having everything anybody could ever dream of, so why me?

Why, god?

That's what I asked myself when I downed the next shot of tequila I had ordered.

What was the first thing I did when I got home after hearing all of what he had to say? I cried, like a little bitch. I curled myself up in my bed and I cried until I couldn't breathe. I cried until I felt like I was going to pass out.