Ruin Me

16. Guard me

"I'm confused," Mina and I were sitting together in art, last period on Friday, "you're bringing all of them to the game tonight?"

"All four," I nodded slowly, my entire concentration was focused on getting the line of Mina's cheekbone straight on my painting.

"How does that work?" I finished my line proudly and finally looked up at Mina who's brow was furrowed in confusion, "are you actually dating any of them?"

"No," I replied firmly, "we're all just friends."

"Are you sure?" Mina raised a skeptical eyebrow, "it didn't look like they all felt the same."

"What do you mean?" I swirled great orange loops for Mina's hair. I'd painted her in yellows and warm oranges so her face glowed like the sunset. I wanted her kind personality to jump out from the painting and her distinctive look to be represented in the array of colours.

"You must've seen the way they all look at you?" Mina sounded shocked, I gave her a pointed look, "I mean I only saw them for a short while at the party but they seemed in tune with you the whole time. That big guy hovered by your side the entire night like a protective boyfriend, the thoughtful one looked like he knew every move you would make before you even made it, the one you dumped with Jenny only had eyes for you, he would be talking to Jenny but looking straight at you and the brooding one looked like he wanted to punch anyone who even came close to you."

I stared at Mina dumbstruck as my brain tried to process her words. I'd never seen my relationship with the boys as anything but platonic, but now she pointed it out I recognised what the hidden feeling in all of their eyes was, attraction.

What the hell had I got myself into?

"Shit," I mouthed slowly.

"Uh huh," Mina nodded then she made her voice sarcastic and slightly teasing, "how unfortunate to be desired by four insanely attractive guys, I feel so bad for you."

"What do I do?" My voice was pleading, I wasn't ready for this. When I moved here I thought I'd hate all the stuck up boys at Kings Bridge, that avoiding falling for any of them would be easy. I didn't expect this.

I wasn't ready. I was still falling out of love with someone else. Someone who'd hurt me.

"You have to be careful Cara," Mina's voice was deathly serious, "you don't want anyone getting hurt."

"No I don't," I agreed. My past relationship had hurt me enough, I didn't have the tolerance to deal with any more hurt.

***

After my chat with Mina it was like I couldn't get her words out of my head. Now she'd pointed the boys attention to me out it was all I could see, like she'd put blinkers on me that only allowed me to focus on it. I began to notice all the things I'd been oblivious to before, like when I walked into a room all their bodies shifted slightly so they were facing me. How their eyes would always be fixed on one part of my body. How Mitchell would move so he was always within arms distance of me and could yank me out of danger if needed or how Sawyer scrutinised my every move, documenting it in his brain.

I noticed other things about them too as we got ready to go out to the game, things that I hadn't allowed myself to see before. The way that when I caught Sawyers intense gaze my stomach would tighten or when Nico teased me an immediate feeling of warmth would flood through me at his attention. The way that I felt myself leaning towards Mitch too as if just breathing in his earthy smell could keep me safe or how when Grey's eyes set fire to my skin they also sent tingles down my spine.