Ruin Me

51. Shoot me

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

Why wasn't my brain working, why had it decided at this exact moment to freak out and pool into a useless mess? None of my thoughts could form into anything that made sense and the more I tried to concentrate on sorting them out the more frantic and wild they became. It was as if every worry I'd ever had was choosing this exact moment to swarm through my head overflow it. I just needed to think clearly. That was all I needed to do.

What would my mom do?

I made myself form the question in my head and hold it there clearly, I waited as all the background noise slowly faded out around it. I gripped onto that single question like a life ring while the roaring ocean quietened around me. I had to think.

Around me Nico was pacing frantically up and down the corridor, Mitch was stood deathly still with his eyes wide and staring into the distance, Sawyers mouth was twisted into a grim line and behind his eyes I could see a thousand cogs ticking as, like me, he tried to figure this whole thing out.

"Why don't we ring the police?" Nico suggested interrupting my thoughts.

"Are you insane?" I demanded, "he did all of this because he thought I told you four about my moms murder, imagine what he'd do if he thought I'd told the police. We can't, it would put Grey at risk."

"Cara's right," Mitch agreed, "we can't get anyone else involved, it would only make it worse."

"What do you suggest we do then?" Nico growled. I knew he didn't mean to be aggressive, he was just concerned about his friend. We all were. This photo had changed everything, it meant Grey was in real danger. This wasn't a game anymore.

"We go and get him," I told them simply.

"What do you want us to just waltz across the field to the pool?" Mitch snapped.

"Yes," I replied matter of factly.

"What if he sees us coming and does something to Grey?" Sawyer asked shaking his head slowly in dismissal of the idea.

"It's the only way to get to Grey, to just walk across the field and get him," I resigned myself to the truth, "I'll go. I won't put any more of you in danger. I'll get him and I'll face this man. It's me who should have to face this not you."

"You must be losing your mind if you think we're going to let you go alone," Nico stated.

"I have to," I cried back, "it's the only way."

"We're going with you," Mitch agreed with Nico his voice rising slightly.

"No you're not. I can't have anymore of you getting hurt because of me. I have to do this alone. Please," I pleaded.

"Just stop it Cara," Mitch shouted back, "this whole idea is ridiculous you're not going on your own. It's better we all go, we'll protect you."

"Stop being the hero for one god damn minute Mitch and listen to me, this is the only thing that makes any sense. I go and you stay here to call the police if anything happens," my voice cracked at the end without my permission.

"What the fuck do you mean, if anything happens?" Mitch roared, his need to protect was making him aggressive and I knew this was killing him inside.