Ruin Me

24. Love me

Who was Jackson?

If I knew the answer to that I would be in a better place to explain it. Jackson was indescribable, you had to know him to understand him. And he was known by very few so he was often misunderstood. He was elusive and smart, smarter than most which aggravated some people who envied him. He was a reclusive person, someone who chose to be alone though he could've had his pick from hundreds of friends. That was what made him picking me so special.

I was the one he let in.

And he was the one I let in.

"How do you know about Jackson?" The only person I'd mentioned him to was Mina and I knew for sure she wouldn't have told anyone.

"You mentioned his name, last week when you were passed out drunk and after the football match when you fainted. Sometimes in the night you scream it," Grey informed me gravely.

I felt my body flush from head to foot in humiliation. Was I that pathetic? Was that really the name I cried out when I felt so alone?

I glanced around at each of their faces trying to determine each of their thoughts. All of them had their eyes fixed on something else in the room as to not meet mine. Mitchell was glaring daggers at Grey, furious at him for bringing the topic up. So they all knew but none of them had said anything? They had just wondered behind my back.

"Jackson is an ex-boyfriend," it was the simplest answer to a complicated question.

"Is that it?" All their faces were full of expectation now.

"That's who he was," I shrugged. I'd answered the question, my job was done. "Nico your turn."

"Truth," his voice was solemn all of a sudden, the whole room was clouded by a seriousness that had infiltrated the room without us giving it permission to.

"Why don't you get on with your dad?"

"Who says I don't," the twinkle in his eye dimmed a little.

"I saw you together at parents evening Nico," I shot him a pointed look.

"We just clash," Nico shrugged like it was no big deal, "I'm not as bothered about academics as my older siblings, I don't want to be a doctor or mathematician or banker and he can't accept that."

"I understand," I nodded, I would never be the brilliant mastermind my mom was, I wasn't the poker playing prodigy she'd always dreamed of having.

But Nico wasn't revealing everything, like so many of us he was only giving half of the truth. Concealing the real reason behind a truthful but excuse of a  reason.

"Your go, truth or dare," his face brightened a little.

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss your darer," a huge pause for dramatic effect. My heart skipped for a moment, was he seriously asking me to kiss him? All the other boys in the room were visibly tense and Mitch already had his mouth open to object. "On the cheek."

The relief came rushing out of me in a snort-like-laugh. The mischievous grin had found its way back to Nico's cheeks causing his dimples to deepen and skin to flush with pink humour.

In a distinctly noticeable silence loaded with tension I leaned across the circle to give Nico the tiniest peck on the cheek before falling back into my designated pillow.