Im pregnant with twins from Harry Styles

My brother

I don't wanna go to bed.

If I go i'll have to be alone with Louis.

Plus I'm not tired.

I still cant believe I got so nervous when he said he wanted to be more than friends. My brain totally disconnects when I'm nervous and I just act like a complete dumb. But still, Louis is like a big brother to me he reminds me a lot of...

Damn I'm crying. The point is I love him like a brother. But I just don't know how to say it without possibly hurting his feelings. I know it takes a lot of courage to tell someone you love them as more than friends, and the thought of pushing him to the friend zone makes me feel bad. There has to be a way I can tell him how I feel about our relationship without screwing our siblingly- friendship.

*BLING!*

The elevator door opens and I reluctantly get out of the it and head towards my room. I know Louis in there. Or maybe he isn't? Yeah maybe he's having some dinner or, maybe a dinosaur ate him, or he fell in a hole, I don't know. As I slowly turn the knob and open the door all of the previous thoughts fly away, like the little cowards they are. He´s laying down looking at the ceiling when he hears me come in he immediately shoots up and in less than I can say chopsticks he´s standing in front of me. We just stare at each other until he clears his throat and begins talking.

"So?"

"So, what?" Damn it I'm nervous.

"What do you think about our talk earlier?" Ok here it goes.

"Louis I, I don't want to ruin our friendship but I don't want to lie to you either." I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. "The truth is..." I pull him with me and we both sit down on the bed. "I love you too..." His face light up like a Christmas tree. "But..." It fell down again. "I love you like a brother" a disappointed look filled his eyes as e turns away from me.

"Let me tell you a story..." He looks back at me and I look down at my hands. "Not many people know about this, after it happened I couldn't talk about it without breaking down and turning into a crying baby, everybody just told me to get over it and grow up, but I couldn't. Truth is it hurt me a lot. It still does, but I've learned to deal with it and face the fact that it happened and there's nothing I can do about it." I take his hand and place it on my lap and start playing with his bigger fingers. "His name was Joseph, since we were little we were very close. We wold do everything together. He was almost two years older than me. We would do everything together. He was funny, talented, handsome, just like you." I looked up at his face and he was watching me interested. "You even have the same hair colour" I mess his hair and he smiles softly at me. I continue." Everybody liked him more than they liked me. It was obvious, even a blind man could have seen it. He was better at everything, and my parents kept telling me I should be like him. Those comet of my family would put me through a lot of pressure because I knew I would never be as good as him. But of course I wanted to grow up and be like him. Though I didn't really cared that people thought I was trash in comparison to my older brother, because I had him, and he was the only person I cared for."

I stop and take a deep breath to calm me down. C'mon Becka you can do this, for Joseph. "One night my parent where shouting at me because my grades weren't as good as Joseph's. At one point I grew tired and started screaming back at them, that I couldn't be like him because he was perfect and I wasn't I was a complete fail. I don't remember what I said but it offended my mother and she slapped me. Joseph had walked inside a little before and saw a part of the discussion. When my mother slapped me and he saw my tears fall down like rivers he got into the fight to help me out. Back and forth comments about me kept being thrown. Not later my mom screamed the worst thing a mother could say about their child. And I quote: I didn't even want to have that piece of trash, I only kept it because you where so excited but if it had been for me I would have aborted the second I knew I was pregnant. That comment sent Joseph over the edge and he started to insult mother in every way he could. He got tired and ran out the door to get some cigarettes from the store. My parents tried to stop him but they couldn't. I tried to but he only ruffled my hair. kissed my forehead, told me he'd be back for me and got in his car. He drove away. Hours passed ad he wouldn't come back. I started to panic. Long story short, a police officer came to our house and told us he had died in a car crash. He was so angry he wasn't really looking and a drunk guy crashed with him. The drunk man lived.

I became anorexic and suffered of serious depression problems. Everybody kept telling me it was my fault he had died and that I was the one who deserved to die and not him. My parents and everybody else would make me feel worse and without him I felt like jumping of a bridge and dying everyday. Actually that's how I met Harry." I say smiling at the memory.

"Well, I guess I can love you as my sister. Maybe it would be better. And I would still be able to be with you and show you my love, in some way, but..."

"But?"

"Can I please get one kiss?, just one" He gives me those cute puppy dog eyes and I cant resist. I lean in and press a soft kiss on his pink lips, I think I hear the door close but I shrug it off. We pull away and smile at each other.

"Aaaaaaand, I wanna know the story of how you met curl boy" He cleans my tears and lies down with my head on his chest, is hands playing with my hair. I get comfortable and I start ...

"well it was a cold night..."

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muahahha I bet you guys wanna know how they met. But since im made of pure evil I decided you're going to have to wait till next chapter haha!

don't hate me

I hope this chapter was long, I should be doing homework :P

In other news, did you guys gave Zayn cute birthday wishes? I did :)

a random comment will get next chapter's dedication. I'll choose the most creative one, or one of someone who comments a lot :) so think of something creative to say, anything!

enjoy the gif on the side :)