The Way We Used To Be [Another Negan fan fic] [completed]

Past

Negan
I didn't know what to say. My heart was heavy and for the first time in a long time...I felt ashamed. For a moment I just sat there, staring at her. I could see she was disappointed in me. How could she not be? I'm disgusting. I treated those people like damn objects. Ann got hurt. Nearly killed because of my mistakes. And that was for the second time already.

I wanted to kill Crystal. If Ann hadn't been standing there, I would have. But I felt guilt. Guilt that I wanted to kill her. That I could have so easily without a second thought. But fear in myself for becoming too soft. I'm so confused. I'm the leader of the saviors. I need to keep myself grounded and let these people have a leader they fear. If I don't, I could lose everything. But Ann, She's shown me hope and I feel myself changing everyday. I never want her to be afraid of me again. I just want her to be proud of me. I just want her to trust me again.

My speeding thoughts came to a halt when Ann lifted my face in her hands and snapped me out of my confused state. "I have...had wives." I stuttered and could barely look up in her direction. She went poker faced. But her eyes were understanding. Yet, I still looked away as I began to speak once more.

"I don't know why I did, but once I lost you everything else didn't matter. I became numb to it all and I just wanted to feel something, anything." My eyes flooded with tears and I did my best to push them back.

"How many were there?" Her voice was professional and lacked any emotion. "Five. I've never had any feelings for a single one. They were never you." I began to ramble and slipped over my words. I don't know why I was so afraid. Maybe because I thought she'd stand up and leave. Demand to go back and I'd lose her once again. Or maybe it was all these things I kept feeling. All this sadness and regret. The thought of losing Ann over my own stupidity.

I kept ranting and soon I felt her warm lips connect to my wet ones. She kissed me slowly and I felt myself melt into her kiss. All the thoughts were gone and I leaned up to cup her face in my hands as she leaned in closer. "I love you, Negan. As long as you are different now, then that's all that matters to me." She smiled softly, as she stroked my cheek.

"I love you so much, Anastasia." I pulled away and we looked at each other for a moment. "I don't know why you are so worried. Compared to smashing people's heads in, this is nothing." She smiled. I found myself leaning in for another kiss with this weight finally off of me. "Please, don't ever go." I stared into her eyes and pressed my forehead against hers. She smiled and leaned up to kiss my nose.

"How about a snack and we go cuddle?" She smiled and I nodded my head, standing up. "By the way, I think you should replace half your men with girls like, Crystal. She hit harder than Jerry."

She laughed and I cupped her face, leaning down to kiss her now bruised cheek. "I'd rather replace them with you. You're the bravest person I know." I smiled and grabbed her hand as we walked to the pantry, picking something out.

"I have to say, I never thought I'd be doing this again." Ann drew shapes on my chest and I smirked, pulling her closer. "What? Laying in bed with a handsome man?"

"No, I'm done that plenty of times since." She chuckled and I fake gasped, pulling her on top of me. "Oh yeah? How many we talking?" I began to kiss her chest and up to her collar bone as she smirked.

"Hmm, maybe 7. But you can't talk after today Mr multiple wives." She gave me a sarcastic grin and pressed her hands into my chest. "I'll have you know I thought of you every time." She scoffed, making a gagging noise.

"Oh, how flattering. Almost as flattering as you naming the bat you bash people's skulls in after me." She poked my nose and leaned down to kiss me as she bit my lip. "I think it's befitting. You always knew how to knock em dead." I joked and she smacked my chest, getting off of me. "Not funny." She fake chuckled and got on her side as I laid down on mine so we were face to face.

"I missed this so much. Every night I used to lay in bed wishing you were there."

"Before or after your wives left?" She tilted her head to the side, with a mocking tone in her question. "I even missed your smart ass mouth." I bit my lip and stared at her. I couldn't help but smile as I saw her own grow. "Yeah, I missed your mouth in many ways." She cheekily spoke and I raised my eyebrows with an amused expression. "Oh really?" I got on top of her. She wrapped her legs around my waist and her hands found their way to grip my shoulders. "Mmm, so much."

"Well, then perhaps you two need to be reintroduced." I leaned down to kiss. Her laughter turning into whimpers as I️ got lower.

We laid there. Wrapped in each other's embrace and tangled up in our limbs. It was a comfortable silence till Ann spoke up. "Did you mean it?" She looked at me. "Mean?"

"That day at Alexandria. When you said you trusted me. Did you mean it?" I didn't have to think before I️ replied with yes. She had so many chances to leave. Even now she had the chance to leave. Yet everyday she's still here. Everyday we are connecting. I hope she felt the same. "Do you...trust me?" I stammered with the question. Afraid of the answer.

"Yes." Her reply left my stomach with butterflies. "Really?" I couldn't believe the answer, yet felt my heart swell all the same. "It took time, but yes, Negan, I trust you. So don't mess it up." She smiled and leaned up as we kissed.

I stirred from my sleep to the sound of a gunshots and loud bangs. There were people yelling and I quickly rose from my bed waking, Ann. "We have a problem." I grabbed the gun from the drawer of my bedside and threw on a t shirt as Ann did the same. "Stay here." I pressed my ear to the door, trying to figure out what was going on.

"This way." I heard an all too familiar voice say and I opened to door to reveal some major bullshit.

What do you think? And any guesses on who's at the door? Tell me what you think in the comments and don't forget to vote. As always thanks for all you lovelys for reading and have a wonderful day :)