The Way We Used To Be [Another Negan fan fic] [completed]

Ready

Ann
A few hours passed since I had everything ready and packed. Now all I needed to do was wait.

I decided I'd leave tonight. As long as I played it cool, Negan wouldn't suspect a thing. I just wanted one more day with Negan. One more night to say goodbye.

It hurt to know I'd have to leave him behind. It hurt to know he might never change. It hurt to let go of something you had so much hope for. But now all that matters is my family. I have protect them...like I couldn't for Abraham. I'll never let that happen again. I just needed one more thing, I had to be sure.

I closed the door behind me and did my best not to look in the direction of where it took place. I knew if I did, I'd lose all control and break down right there in the hall. There was no time for that. I just had to focus on what I was coming out for in the first place.

I skimmed the shelfs and searched for my intended product. I grabbed the package off the shelf and shoved it in my bag. I took a deep breath and started to walk back to the room. I held my head high towards anyone I passed in the halls. I had finally made my way to the door. I made quick work to slide in and throw my travel bag on to the bed.

After I had calmed down and regained some type of composer. I laid down in bed thinking. Why are you so stupid? I placed my hands over my face and did my best to keep myself from crying again.

I love him. I had faith in him. The tiny voice in my head whispered back to me. Then the image of Abraham quickly came flooding into memory any time I thought of Negan. You know what you have to do. Just do it. I closed my eyes and breathed out. "Be strong." I whispered to myself when I heard the lock to the door click and someone walk in.

Negan
"Hey." I muttered towards the direction of Ann when I walked through the door. I didn't know what to say to her that I hadn't already. I knew she would never understand why I did it. Yet, I still found myself hoping she might one day see why I had to.

"Hey." I was surprised she said a word to me. Hell, I was even surprised she was still here. By the time I returned, I thought I'd find a few dead guards and she'd be gone. But there she was, sitting on the bed and I prayed with whatever little faith I could find that she'd always be there.

"Is it foolish to ask if you are ok?" I finally looked over at her and my heart almost broke by the sight.
All the color had drained from her face. Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked like she had been crying all day.

"Yes." Her voice cracked and sounded dull. I slowly walked over to her and knelt down at the side of the bed. "I know you'll never forgive me. A part of me doesn't blame you. But I just want you to know I'm truly sorry I hurt you." She looked at me. I cupped her face, running my thumb over her warm and damp cheek.

"What about, Abraham?" I looked away. Something inside churned my stomach making me unable to hold her stare. But it's done, and I can't let myself feel sorry for every skull I've ever bashed in. It was necessary. It's what kept me alive.

"I wish they would have been smarter." She chuckled a sad kind of laugh. "That's what I thought." She turned over with her back facing me.

"They brought this on themselves. What was I to do?" I began to grow frustrated and walked to the other side of the bed. "Let us go."

"Let you go?" I spit the words back to her and scoffed. "I suppose, I just keep letting them think they can walk all over me?" I waited for an answer.

"They weren't walking all over you.' They came for me. To bring me home."

"Home?" I laughed by her choice of words out of pure disbelief. "I thought I was your home...or at least became it again." I refused to let a tear slip as I stared at her. "I thought we had started over."

"We did, Negan." I couldn't handle the bullshit anymore. I knew if I didn't stop then and there, I would start crying. "Think whatever you will." I huffed and walked over to the dresser, pulling out some clean clothes i walked into the bathroom to change.

As I laid in bed, I couldn't sleep. I just kept staring at the ceiling, wishing I could pull Ann into my arms and forget about everyone else. "Negan." Her voice broke the thick silence and she turned around. I quickly made out her form through the darkness.

"I've seen Rick make tough calls. I've seen him have to kill people. But if you don't draw lines...if you let yourself be consumed...you'll lose yourself forever." She finished and I didn't know what to say. I could see there was something in her stare. Tears. I went to wipe them away but she grabbed my hand before I could touch her. "I'll always love you. But please, my husband is in there somewhere. I've seen him so many times, already. Don't let him go, Negan. There's still hope if we choose it." She leaned up to kiss me. This time it felt different. It was longer, yet behind it I felt something different.

She pulled away and placed her tender hand to my cheek. "Goodnight, Negan." Ann released her touch and turned over on her side. I went to pull her into my chest, but stopped myself. "Goodnight, Ann." I whispered and laid back down. It might be better in the morning.

Ann
I had laid there the whole time. Crying to myself as I waited for Negan to fall asleep. I didn't want to go. I just wanted to turn over and snuggle up to his chest. Fall asleep in his arms and wake up to his face. But I couldn't. There were others I had to look out for...ones far more important than myself and no matter how much I wished things were different, Negan could still hurt my family. Others could still die by his hands. I have to do this. I wiped my tears till I heard his soft snores. Gently, I slid from the bed.

The floor was cold against my bare feet and a chill ran up my spine. I slowly grabbed my bag from under the bed. Every move I made sure not to wake Negan. Next I slung my jacket on and put on my shoes. I placed the small piece of paper by the bedside and made a break for the door.

Slowly, I creaked it open and watched as Negan stirred in bed. Holding my breath as I did, he went back to sleep and I took his snoring as a sign to slip through the door. I took one last look at him before I closed the door and made my way down the halls.

When I got to the exit, I opened the door and looked around for any guards. There were two on the other side of the parking lot but were too busy smoking to notice me.

I crept through the lot and shimmied out the gate I started to run for the road that would take me home. Goodbye, Negan. I ran away from this place but when I did I ran away from my heart.

I know, super duper long chapter. But there was just a lot I needed to cover..anyways tell me what you think in the comments as always thanks for reading and have a lovely day.