30 Day Letter Challenge

Day 1 - Your Best Friend.

Dear Best Friend,

Thank you so much for putting up with me all these years. In times of need, you were there, you were my shoulder to cry on, my light in the abyss.

I feel like I never really got the chance to show you how much our friendship meant to me and now it's too late. When you were off sick for two weeks with the chicken pox in primary school, I was so lonely without you. You were the person who kept me bright and happy, and without you, I was lost...

I feel like that now... what our friendship was... isn't what it is now. And I feel lost... not just because I feel like I've lost you, but because I feel like I've lost our friendship as well.

And with rumours and people trying to break us apart, we lost each others trust. Like when the rumour went around in primary school that I had been pretending to be friends with you and actually hated you. I didn't care what everyone else thought. What hurt was that you didn't know if you trusted me enough to believe that the rumour was a lie.

Going to different secondary schools was always going to break us up, there's no changing that. But I never realized how quickly I'd lose you.

Yeah, we still see each other regularly and yeah, we still claim to be "best friends" but as you get closer to everyone else, we are stretching further and further apart. It used to be so easy to talk and chat but now it's just awkward and hostile. And everything is changing so rapidly that I don't really know and understand you anymore. And not knowing how you're going to react and how you're feeling and everything is so strange. Because it never used to be like that and now it just... is.

And the girl who always wanted you? She's got you now. I've accepted that now. Seeing you two together, it's a wonder you were never "best" friends anyway, without her having to try and play games to split us apart. I don't even have the energy any more to try and fight back against her... I just have to accept that I've lost you.

To be honest, I'd much rather we were just friends and could just hang out normally without it being so awkward... maybe it would be easier that way. Because at the moment we're just claiming to be best friends and trying to live up to that title. This friendship is too precious to lose, and if we carry on like we are now, sooner or later, it will be lost. I just wish I could change everything and then none of this would have happened.

I love you so much and I hope we can resolve this...

Emma x