Dear all my close friends,
Whether I met you less than a year ago, or known you since I was two, I love you all so much. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. You're the only people keeping me sane :'D
I'm not very good at expressing my feelings, which, I guess, is why I write. I don't like having to say the things I'm afraid of, and hear them, because, in a way, it makes them seem so much more real. And I don't want to concern any one else by spreading my thoughts. Some things are better just left private.
I know all of you well enough to share my secrets and my thoughts but, for some reason, I shrink away. I want to speak my mind, to have the weight of the thoughts off my brain but I can't bring myself to say the words. I want to be able to just speak... speak my mind, share my deepest secrets without backing down or regretting it. But I feel, in a way, those are the things that make you who you really are. The things people can't figure out just by seeing you or by talking to you. But, once they're spread, they're not secret any more. They're not just yours.
I wish I had the courage to just do anything, or say anything, I want to without the fear of being judged or turned away from. And, even when I know the person would never tell anyone, the fear is still there. And I guess that's part of the reason I never share and nobody knows everything about me.
I'm sure one day I will just speak... and when that day comes, I will just keep talking, sharing everything. But how will I feel afterwards? Happy? Or vulnerable?
I do love you all. You are all so amazing. But I just need time to figure out what I'm prepared to share and when...
Lots of love,
Emma xxx
YOU ARE READING
30 Day Letter Challenge
Non-FictionI know people did this ages ago but I'm doing it now :) Basically, on every day of January, I am going to write a letter to a person in my life. Or at least, I'll try to write one every day but with everything happening, it might be longer <3 People...
