30 Day Letter Challenge

Day 14 - Someone You've Drifted Away From

Dear Best Friend,

I know I've already written a letter to you. I did try and make it less boring by not repeating but ,writing this letter from the head, and not the heart, left this letter not very good. So instead, I decided that it was better to write a repetitive good letter than a different, bad one.  

I remember days when we used to make up handshakes and test to see if we were related. I remember days when we'd hug and play. I remember days when we were so close. Days when we didn't care what others thought of us - we were together, that's all it was. That was our permission to go crazy.

It was never weird or awkward. It was always bright, relaxed and cheery and every day you'd make me smile and laugh and we'd face the world together. And I'm not going to try and pretend I don't miss that. I do. I miss what our friendship was. 

I guess everything has to change and I accept that. It's just a shame that it happened to our friendship. I don't know what it was - me? you? rumours? betrayals? other people? different secondary schools? secrets? I don't know, I probably never will. All I know is we slowly split apart and before I realised it you were way out of my grasp.

At the end of the day, I don't care whether you're my "best" friend or not. All I care about is that you trust me. And you enjoy my company. It hurts when you don't think I understand so you don't bring your walls down for me. I've known you for years, you should know that I'll listen to any of your problems and honestly try to help.

I heard you crying in your room once. And when I came in, you hid yourself from me, and pretended to be hunting for something. You wouldn't look me in the eye so I wouldn't know. But of course I did know - and I'm sure we both knew that. I wish you had let me in, let me see. I wish you had just cried on my shoulder, rather than try and bottle it up from me.

I have drifted away from you over the last months but I'm determined to patch it up, however long it takes. 

If only we could just be one hundred percent honest, sit down and actually talk. Talk about what happened to our friendship, where it went and why it did so. Because we are both keeping secrets from eachother and we can't keep hiding, ignoring and escaping the truth.

You're too close to me for me to be able to let you go<3

Emma xxx