Day 7 - Your Fears

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  • Dedicated to My Fears </3
                                    

Dear Fears,

For as long as I can remember, you have ruled my life. Never a day has passed when you haven't crept into my mind some way or another. There are so many things I have not, and am too scared to do, because of you. I try to be confident, spur of the moment Emma but I'm just not. I'm just a young, vulnerable girl fighting against something so strong, that I can't control it. 

I never really had too much trouble with bullies or haters or anything. The only problem I had was you. Every single day of primary school, I fought against you. It became so bad, I wouldn’t go to school and wouldn’t leave the house. And when I started school again, I had to build it up (starting with only being in school for an hour, with mum in the class. Then, I stayed in school for longer with mum waiting in reception. Then I stayed whole days, with her coming in at breaks to check finally finishing with me managing full days without her.)   

At least when I started secondary school it got better, but even now, I still revolve my life around my fears and worries. I don’t want to live like that. I don’t know why I’m afraid. Maybe it’s because I can imagine things too clearly. All I know is that sometimes I feel like I’ve built a wall around myself and then someone tugs and one brick and the whole thing tumbles down.

Please just leave me alone. Let me enjoy my life. There’s so many things I want to do, so many places I want to go, so many people I want to meet that I haven’t because of you. Let me have that chance. That’s all I ask. Let me do things, go places, see people. Give me the confidence to do those things. That’s all I ask.

Emma xxx

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