Hopelessly waiting for you

Ocean of tears

I was still sitting on the floor crying my heart out. 10 minutes straight I kept saying to myself "what have you done Nadia? It's your fault that he doesnt remember you. If you didn't let him go cross the road none of this would have happened." I soon calmed down and I actually started thinking properly.
"Why doesn't he remember me? Did he recieve that letter. After all these years, should I still love him even if he is with someone else?" I soon remembered that courtney told me to skype her if I needed someone to talk to. I crawled to the bedroom as I was feeling too weak to stand up. After a couple of minutes I reached my laptop and turned it on. I never took much notice of it but I saw that my background was a photo of Cameron and I. I always used to think that it was just a random photo for me to remember him and his positivity, but instead when I looked at the photo I saw all the things I have lost and all the pain that it is giving me. I moved the mouse to click on skype and I called Courtney. It rang for a while but then it picked up.
"Hey Nadia! Feeling better?"
"Does it look like I'm feeling better?"
"Good point."
"I can't handle this anymore... I keep remembering all the pain and terrifying moments of my life."
"So what do you want to do?"
"I don't even know myself Courtney."
"I've got a question, do you know why he doesn't remember you?"
"No."
"Then why don't you talk to Holly tomorrow and ask her about Cameron. See if you can get any information. Then come and talk to me."
"Okay. Goodnight Courtney."
I closed my laptop. I started to cry again. I dont even know why I am crying! It just happened. I walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My hands were shaking as I lifted the glass, but before I knew it The glass fell out of my hands and smashes all over the floor giving me a cut on my leg. I started to sob as I sat on the floor leaning against the fridge. "I can do this Nadia. Kaya ko 'to!" I took more deep breaths while trying to franticaly clean the wound. I walked over to get the first aid kit and treated my wound. It wasnt that bad. It was a very small cut and I'm lucky that it's not that deep. I lay in bed planning what I should say and do tomorrow. Tears were still falling down my eyes as they slowly started to close. I litterally cried myself an ocean of tears.
That same night I dreamed of all the horrors that haunted my life. Loosing Cameron, Loosing my parents, Seeing Cameron date my bestfriend Holly, Being slapped by Mrs Garcia. But then I soon started dreaming about all the wonderful things that have happened in my life and how far I have come. The time I met Cameron and Courtney, the Mask ball, The time when I recieved the letter saying that I got accepted as a scholar, meeting Holly and all the adventures that I have been on. I guess that that was my motivation to push through any struggles that I may have and that I am on the road to success.

You know what the annoying thing is. I still love him even though he doesn't remember who I am.