How to Be a God [ManXMan]

Chapter Nine: Charcoal Cookies and Pizza

~Chapter Nine: Charcoal Cookies and Pizza~

"Ainmire, it's great to hear your voice."

I pause with my finger just barely hovering over the 'end call' button, assessing in my head whether or not I should find out who knows my name and has gained access to my number before hanging up. It is my growing curiosity that makes the final decision as I reluctantly bring the mobile device up to my ear. "You have thirty seconds before I end this call," I inform the person on the other end.

"You do that, and the next person I'm calling is your mother," the heavily-accented caller threatens in seemingly good humor, his voice eerily familiar. However, as I am trying to place the owner of it, he continues, "Well, I guess I can't actually call her, since she doesn't own a phone, but my owl would have no trouble reaching her."

It is the owl comment that brings up the old, rather fond memories. "Ullr," I all but groan, though more for show than actual displeasure, "how did you come by this number?"

"Heimdallr," the Norse god laughs, clearly pleased, though I am not sure if his pleasure comes from my reaction or his success in contacting me.

"Heimdallr gave you my mobile device number?" I ask in disbelief, wondering how the 'all-seeing' – it is nothing more than a rumor that he sees all; what he sees is in his pantheon and his pantheon only – god came upon it. While the Norse gods did occasionally allow human sacrifices, there was never anything 'satanic' about them. It was usually death by hanging or strangulation, and they typically occurred on Yule, which is weeks away. This means that it was highly unlikely those murders were for any of the Norse pantheon and thus, Heimdallr should not be able to see me.

There is a snort of amusement from the other end. "Your boss worships our pantheon. Once Heimdallr saw you while checking up on Nate, it didn't take him long to recognize your gorgeous face," Ullr answers, though his choice of wording makes me scowl. Impudent brat...

"I did not realize you could check in on your followers. I remember Heimdallr saying it used to give him a headache," I challenge, knowing that it is not possible for the old god to have been able to single me out without knowing exactly where to look.

A moment of silence passes between us and I am already preparing to crow in triumph at having called his bluff. Ullr cannot trick a trickster and I want to know the real way he found me so I can make sure it never happens again. When Ullr speaks, though, all thoughts of victory vanish. "You've been gone a long time, Ainmire. We don't have the same influence as we once had," he says forlornly. "Heimdallr can easily single out our believers that live on a faraway continent, such as the North America.

"Anyway, that's not why what I called to discuss, Ainmire. We need to meet, face-to-face. It's been too long and I don't like talking over phones much," Ullr says. While I do miss familiar faces, I do not see how it would be a good idea for us to meet and I immediately try to think of a way to talk him out of it. However, it seems he still knows me well enough that he cuts off me off before I can create a good plan. "Don't make me owl your mother, Ainmire. Your pantheon knows you're alive thanks to that Youtube video and they're dying to see you. Either you come here or I'll go to you."

What video? Wait-

"Wait, why are they dying? Has something happened?" I demand, my concern for my family overshadowing the need to convince Ullr to leave me alone. If I had known they were dying, normal life be damned, I would have gone to them as soon as I was-

"Relax, it's a figure of speech. It means they are very enthusiastic, not that they are actually dying," Ullr explains, and I release a breath I was unconsciously holding. I am growing tired of always misunderstanding these odd sayings...