How to Be a God [ManXMan]

Chapter Twenty-Five: My Name is Ainmire

~Chapter Twenty-Five: My Name is Ainmire~

Jasper sets a green mug in front of me before placing the blue one at his place at the table. He quickly retrieves a couple of napkins from the kitchenette and takes a seat across from me. "I need to leave for work in twenty minutes, so I'm going straight to the point," Jasper says, unusually serious. However, there is still an underlying nervousness to both his tone and body language, which is oddly calming in spite of my concern. "Where did you go?"

"My...childhood home," I answer without much hesitation, and it technically is not a lie. Some may count Faerie as my 'childhood home' with how much time I spent there as both a child and an adult.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving? You could've at least called once you were feeling better," Jasper enquires, and starts chewing on his bottom lip anxiously as he waits for an answer.

I am about to point out that I did tell him before I left, but then I realize what it is I forgot to do in my rush to leave for Faerie with Ullr...I forgot to leave him a note.

Mentally berating myself, I try to explain, "My...town is very rural. No phone lines or internet, and you have my mobile phone."

After explaining, I realize that this would have been a good point to start informing him of the truth, but even as I am thinking it, I realize that it would have been a stupid decision. Jasper seems upset, and I have yet to even ask if he is religious. Just suddenly blurting out 'I am a god' could very well lead to a slap on the face and banishment from his apartment.

Truthfully, how does one go about telling their boyfriend of their god status?

Something about what I said seems to just set him off more despite my intention to do the opposite, as his lips flatten into a line and, for a split second, he looks hurt. He blinks rapidly a couple of times before looking away and saying, "Last I saw you, you were dying from a spear wound, Allen. Then I heard that you checked out of the hospital within minutes of waking up. What the hell?"

I am not sure whether I should be surprised by the fact that he is actually cursing, or feel guilty for undoubtedly making him scared. For a moment, I just consider telling him everything, just to get it over with while leaving it up to him whether he should kick me out or not. However, that would be cruel, crueler than even I am willing to be.

The more I think about this, the more my decision to tell him the full truth seems like a childish fantasy rather than an achievable goal.

"I apologize for making you worry, Jasper," I try, carefully thinking over my next words. "Due to my injuries, it was decided that I would need to return to...Scotland. I had wanted to return earlier, but my uncle, who I was staying with, insisted I stay until I was in perfect health."

Okay, now I am just digging myself into a hole. This is all being done in the wrong order; it would have been best if I just blurted it out before he could even ask a question.

Jasper returns to biting his bottom lip. "Can I see it?" He asks softly, looking pointedly at my stomach. I hold my breath in both fear and anticipation. The golden apple juice worked a bit too well to be considered normal, but then, perhaps this will be a good chance to stop skirting the truth. My boyfriend sucks in a breath when I lift up my shirt to bear my stomach and tears visible form in his eyes, though it seems more from relief than sadness. "How? I...the spear ran you through, Allen."

Despite my desire to tell him everything, when I try to speak, the words refuse to come. However, it is not a curse or spell that has me tongue-tied; it is my own mind that fights me on this. I want to tell him, but some part of me seems to be actively against the idea.