Beyond my own mind silence is heard, but within my own mind a war is raged. An ongoing battle between my true self and my shattered mind.I scream but it is drowned out time and time again. Outside voices tell me to "just get over it", to "not let it get to me"; but it only intensifies the battle and each side gains new vigor to fight anew. A comment made out of good intentions only tears me down further into the black abyss I now call my home. Silent screams of pain and terror escape me in the dead of night to try and mend the holes in my quickly breaking armor. Powerless to aide either fight indefinitely forced to stay in constant suspension between pain and darkness and happiness and true freedom. New chains added daily as one of old falls to dust. Stuck in a constant loop, filled with loneliness that can't be explained. Darkened thoughts have become the normal while the light have been swallowed whole. Though I want to break free, I am weak. My strength has faded fighting a fight I was destined to loose. Hope has been dashed into oblivion, barely a shard remains within. I want to hope, to believe, to not hide behind a persona any longer. I want to stop living the lie I have been. I cant keep pretending I'm alright when I'm dying inside. Those I thought I could turn to in trust, fractured what faith I had left in people. Now walls I had started to break down are refortified and hardened. Breaking through now seems impossible. I long to know who I am but it has clouded. The question is, how long can I survive?
- Blake Nicholas Xavior
- 8/19/16
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Depths of my mind
عشوائيCompilation of things ive written. PLease don't steal and if you want to use it just ask :) Please give it a read. There are darker themes within this, so please be aware of that.
