As Long As I Can

Chapter 14

I heard his heartbeat: doof doof doof... I loved laying on his chest, this way I was closer to his emotions. We were lying on my bed, him slowly drifting off. I couldn't sleep yet, although I was tired. I was looking around my old room and seeing the person I was once apon a time. My room was decorated in black and dark purple. I looked over at the window and thought back at how many times I sneaked out of it. I saw Jake was asleep and opened the drawer next to my bed. There were still some empty sigarette- boxes inside and I wondered why my mom hasn't cleaned out yet and if she did, why didn't she remove this stuff. Could she maybe have forgiven me if I had threw it all away before I left?

Jake

She were still awake when I fell asleep. I wondered if she was okay and if what her mother said had hurt her too much.
I dreamt about performing infront of a crowd of people, singing one of my original songs I have wrote for Allison. And suddenly: I saw my dad looking at me with his fierce eyes. He was angry, but I couldn't stop singing and  finally, when I did, he started yelling at me. So, I woke up. The clock on the bedside table said it was 02:34. Allison were asleep now and curled  up far from me, so I stood up. I opened her closet out of curiosity and saw a few dresses. With every dress, there was a photo. She had black hair on the photos with coloured streaks for example: purple or pink. Still, she looked beautiful. Her eyes looked fierce, with dark eyeliner. My eyes fell to one particular photo, though. It looked like she was running away, while she looked back with a smile on her face. She wore a summer's dress here and her hair wasn't black, but her natural colour. She looked happy. I took the dress into my hands and saw it was a designer's brand. I placed it back and looked at the rest of the dresses. There was a peach prom dress and on the photo with the dress there was a guy with her. She smiled, but her eyes looked sad while he held her. This must be the guy she told me about. He looked like the normal football player we always had, with broad shoulders and a tall length. He had blonde hair and looked like the total opposite of me (accept for the length). I just couldn't believe this was the guy that broke her heart. I just sure as hell hoped he wouldn't be in town while we were there. I then felt small arms wrapped around me: Allison.
"Like looking at my photos?" she asked me.
"Yeah, you look great on some of them."
"Hmm. I did some modelling in high school for brands and so on."
"Did you compete in any pageants?"
"Yeah," she opened a drawer from the closet and took out a photo album. We went to sit down on her bed and I opened the album. It started with a very small girl, smiling with curled hair. Underneath the photo stood: 5 years old.
It went on and on and on every photo, she had a crown on her head and flowers in front of her. Then, I got to her being a bit older. It was photos of her walking down a catwalk. There was photos of her in swimwear and others in short dresses.
"I only really wore short dresses in high school, because I'm kind of short. Short people look like dwarfs in long dresses. " I laughed at that. "You are kind of short," I joked and looked back at the album. In the next photos, she was crowned first princess and on the very last one: Miss Winter Festival. She had a huge crown on her head and a beautiful, sparkly dress on. It was a dress that touched the ground and she didn't look like a dwarf: she looked pretty. Allison stood up, went to the closet and took out a dress at the far end. It was the dress from the photo.
"Wanna try it on?" I asked her and she nodded.
After she got dressed into the dress she said: "zip me up."
And I did. When she turned around to me, I saw how great she looked.
"They designed it specially for me." The dress fitted her every curve and made her look hot, but still not cheap.
"You look beautiful, baby." I told her. She asked me to zip it down for her again and got dressed into her pyjamas again. I hanged up the dress for her again and we went to lie down on her bed.
"Why haven't you told me about you being a hot model?"
She shrugged, "Never came to mind. But, I think I need to tell you a bit about my past, though."
"Oh, like the stuff your parents talked about?"
She nodded, "you know the guy who I used to date I told you about?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, I loved him since the eighth grade, but he didn't. About a year later, I went to a party with a friend and when he saw me drink and smoke and stuff, he asked me out. I wanted him so bad, so I did these things so he would love me back."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"You changed for a guy? Allison, you're so beautiful you never needed him. Why would you do that?"
"I don't know, Babe. I was young and fell in love with him. I felt like I needed him."
A tear rolled down her cheek. I kissed her forehead, "It's okay, my baby girl. It's in the past now. There's nothing you can do about that now."
She nodded and wiped her eyes with her hand.
"I just wish my family can see it that way too," she told me.
"Don't worry, dear. One day they will, because they love you. For now, you've got me and don't need to worry about anybody else."