A-Z German Brothers

I: Insect

I: Insect

It was a nice sunny day and Ludwig had opened up his house's windows to let the breeze in. He was sitting on the couch reading, his three dogs around him on the floor. Gilbert was doing God knows what, but right now, Ludwig did not care. He was enjoying the mild weather and a good book.

He was enjoying the quiet as well, but of course this could not last long when he shared his house with Gil. The last time they had nice weather, Gil had decided to throw a massive 'outdoor' party. Ludwig had nearly killed him; all sorts of people went ramping through his house. With their shoes on!

Though luckily, Gil did not throw another party. Instead the albino came running towards the back screen door. Before Ludwig could even look up to say anything, Gil plowed right through the screen and fell to the ground with a yelp.

The dogs jumped to their feet and barked, before running outside through the now screen-less door.

Ludwig sighed deeply and took a few deep breaths before putting his book down and standing. "Did you not see the screen as you got close?" he growled

Gil sat up and threw the screen off him "Yeah, I saw it when I ran my face into it." he muttered and rubbed his skin, that had angry red marks from colliding with the rough material.

"Who the hell has invisible doors?" he demanded after a moment.

Ludwig started down at him and replied in an even voice "Gil, it is not invisible. It is a screen. Thousands of people have screen doors."

"I did not see it. When you cannot see something that is there, it is invisible." Gil stated, matter of factly as he stood and threw the wrecked screen in the trash.

Ludwig sighed and rubbed his temple, choosing to just not argue with his brother. The dogs were happily romping around in the grass of the backyard. Ludwig went and looked at the wrecked frame for his screen. He would have to get a new one and replace it tomorrow.

While he was examining this, Gil came back and stood behind him. Ludwig ignored him until Gil screamed "LUDWIG! BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!"

Ludwig slowly turned to him "What?" he asked in a 'what the fuck' voice

"ARM THE FORTRESS!" he yelled in a weirdly urgent voice.

Ludwig just stared at him. What the hell did Gilbert want armed? Or battened down?

"ARE YOU NOT HEARING ME? SEAL THE GATES!" he howled, jumping up and down.

Now Ludwig just thought this was a stupid joke and he went to walk away. As he started to move, a bug buzzed past his face to fly around the living room.

Gil fell to the floor howling out "WHY DIDN'T YOU CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR? WE HAVE BEEN INVADED BY WASPS!"

Ludwig's eye twitched "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST SAY CLOSE THE DOOR!?" he yelled down at his brother

"I did!' Gil shouted "I said 'close the door' clear as day!"

Ludwig growled "Nothing you have said to me today has been clear."

Gil wailed "Well now we have a damn wasp flying around and it will kill us! it is going to eat us in our sleep! That is it! We are sleeping in watches tonight!"

Ludwig was very close to punching a wall right about now. He had been having such a nice afternoon...

"Gilbert." he said with a growl "Wasps do not eat people." he looked at the buzzing creature "And that is not a wasp either. It is a bee"

Gil glared at him "Are you stupid? That is very clearly a wasp. And they do eat people. I saw it on the internet."

Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose and tried very hard to be nice with his next few words. "Gilbert, the internet lied to you. It is a damn bee."

Gil rolled his eyes "Yes, I have a stupid little brother. Am I speaking fucking Chinese? IT IS A WASP! And God, with all the time you spend on the internet looking at hardcore porn, I would think you would know everything on the internet is true."

Spoken like a true genius.

That was it, Ludwig had had enough. "Yeah Gil, keep rolling your eyes. You might find a brain back there."

"If I do I will be sure to loan it to you, you're in desperate need."

Before the two could really get into an argument, the bee/wasp landed on the wall. Gil seized his shoe. "I WILL SAVE US ALL! I AM GOING IN FOR THE KILL!"

"NO!" Ludwig bellowed, catching his brother's arm.

"WHY?!" Gil hollered

"YOU'RE GOING TO PUT BEE GUTS ON THE WALL AND SHOE MARKS! I HAVE WHITE FUCKING WALLS!" he yelled

"THEN RE-PAINT IT YOU NEAT FREAK!" he paused and glared "AND IT IS A G*DDAMN WASP!"

And just like that, the two resumed their very heated bee or wasp argument. The dogs came in from outside when it got dark to sit and watch their masters yell at each other.

The bee (or wasp) might have left this madhouse, or it might have gone to plot its evil take over plan somewhere else within the German brother's home.

The two brother's argument took many random turns and it soon wasn't really clear what they were truly arguing about. There was some yelling about each other's intellect, some arguing over sadism or masochism. Somewhere they strayed to arguing which was hotter, Spain or England. That was an entire mystery in itself...

They screamed themselves hoarse until Gil finally stopped to shut the door and Ludwig the windows, for it was now night and cold.

Gil grabbed them beers and sat on the couch. Ludwig sat beside him and frowned "What started the fight?"

Gil had to think before he snapped "The wasp."

Ludwig muttered into his beer "Bee."

They glared at each other for a long moment before they both said at the same time "Insect."

From then on, any bugs in the house, especially bees-or wasps, were called insects, to avoid three hour screaming matches.

Honestly I don't even know the difference...aren't bee's fuzzy? But then...aren't there bees that aren't fuzzy? See! Very real argument here.

Well as always, please tell me your thoughts, and vote!