A-Z German Brothers

S: Size

S: Size

Ludwig had been rather stressed out with the current events in Europe. Everything was in uproar over Russia and Ukraine. It was looking far too similar to the start of the world wars. To make it worse, the conflict was in Eastern Europe, the powder keg that awaited a spark.

Tense as it was, Gil remained to good spirits which was surprising since Ludwig thought a looming issue with Russia would scare the albino senseless. He was glad it did not...though he was a little perturbed by the bubbly happy attitude Gil had adopted for the past few days.

Gil had been hanging around Italy for too long...the Italian disease... it was contagious.

Ludwig was even more surprised and alarmed when Gil decided he should invited Kiku and Feliciano over.

Sure, they were his allies and he did not have a problem with them coming over, but he could not help but feel that Gil had an underlying evil master plan that went with it.

But they came and Ludwig was a good host and acted normal as he could, trying not to be paranoid about what his brother was doing.

It started to show when Gil volunteered to cook them dinner.

Gil never cooked.

Gil never volunteered for real work.

Gil was going to make a mess...

Gil totally had a master plan.

Kiku seemed to see Ludwig was tense and watching his brother careful but like usual the Japanese man said nothing.

Feli was a happy oblivious, ve-ing mess as usual.

Gil made them a normal German dinner, he got wurst and bread and potatoes and cooked rather quietly as Ludwig spoke with his friends and allies.

Something had to be coming. Something had to be wrong. This was not natural, not normal, and if Gilbert did not do anything wrong, well, someone had kidnapped the real one.

He did not have to wait long to see his brother's master plan in action.

Gil served them and took a seat himself. It was quiet for a moment, for Ludwig was as tense as a cat ready to pounce, and both Kiku and Feli were watching him with curiosity and worry.

Gil was calm and he just quietly ate like a normal person, and drank his beer.

But then he broke the silence and spoke.

And all of Ludwig's blood ran to his face.

"So Ludwig, what size are you?"

Naturally this question, coming from Gil, was not innocent. It did not mean what size shirt, or what size pants.

It did not mean what size beer he had, or even wurst, well the edible one.

It was a perverted question without a doubt. He wanted to know his size, his manhood size.

Why, why he did not know. It might just have been to embarrass him. Or Gil really did want to know.

Maybe Gil wanted to sell him on eBay as a sex slave.

Or sell him as a husband on Craigslist.

Or maybe use him as a high class prostitute. High class, obviously.

Then....Gil could also want to know to buy him something. God what did Gil want to get him? He already had a rather impressive big black box...

Why was he giving this such serious thought?

While he was thinking, Kiku sat in silence, becoming rather interested in the grains of the table. He wanted no part of this conversation.

Feli sat there eating and watching Ludwig; It was actually sort of hot watching the Italian eat the sausage while staring at Ludwig.

Wait no, he should not be thinking that.

He should think healthy things...

Like strangling his brother to death and where to hide the body.

Gil in the meantime was just watching Ludwig, waiting for his answer. He was innocent looking, which was pretty frightening in itself. He drank his beer and leaned back. "It really is not a hard question Ludwig."

Ludwig glared "I am not answering you! That was indecent!"

Gil laughed "It was a perfectly normal question."

Kiku stood and slipped away from the room and took the Italian with him. He could sense it. A full out brawl was about to happen in the kitchen. Ludwig's forehead vein was popping.

Nearly as soon as they left, Ludwig got up and walked to Gil, then got down in his face and growled "When will you stop embarrassing me?"

Gil grinned "Never. It's my job."

Ludwig glared flatly and Gil smirked.

It was a dangerous smirk. He was going to do something stupid.

Ludwig knew just what it was a moment too late.

Gil reaches over and groped his brother for a quick moment. Like it was a casual, everyday occurrence too.

Ludwig leapt away after being groped and glared, though his glare lost a lot of anger since his face was bright red.

Gil had a thinking face on, which also was pretty terrifying. "Ten inches? Am I close? Damn Ludwig you could do better I think."

Ludwig threw his hands up in the air "WHY?!"

In the hallway laughing could be heard, and Gil began to laugh as well. After a moment Ludwig even smiled a bit.

Ludwig became less tense as well. Maybe he did not know it, but he had been frowning and tense, and it was worried Gil.

So Gil had, despite his deathly fear of Russia and the current tension in Europe, had decided to act really happy and try to lighten his brothers mood. He invited Ludwig's allies, because he knew damn well they were his friends too.

He also did this stupid idiotic question, not to embarrass his brother, though that was fun, but to make him smile. To get him to relax.

He had succeeded too, and that was worth the yelling and fear of bodily harm.

He would ask those creepy questions. Maybe he would use the information of Ludwig's size to for a Christmas gift...

But in the end he would always do what he could to make his stoic brother smile.

There's S!

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