Acting the fool (a Tom Hiddleston story)

Can he right his wrongs ?

*Tom*
"Are you a fucking idiot Tom ?" Sophie comes stomping over, pushing me hard in the chest, almost making me sit down.

Isabella looks a bit surprised by Sophie's reaction, and I see Ben is on his way. "What now ? "

"I thought you said you love Josie ? Why the hell are you acting like a fucking idiot then". She glares at me.

Okay I feel a little stupid. I shouldn't have kissed Isabella back, but I .. Well I don't really know, it might be the whiskey acting out, I panicked, afraid she would hurt me again.

"I do love her, but I can't do this again, I can't get my hopes up to get them snuffed out when she runs back to him again". I sigh, and holds Isabella at an arm's length as she tries to hug me.

Sophie looks like she wants to slap me. "For God's sake Tom, she told me that Alex knows about you and her. She was here to find out what she really wants, and I am pretty sure that the one she wanted was you, before you acted like a jerk".

"Oh God I messed up really bad didn't I ? I need to get to her, did you see where she went ?" I feel like the biggest idiot, why did I have to go get drunk ?

Ben shakes his head. "Sorry Tom, she is gone, but maybe Luke knows who is doing her PR and they might know where she is staying.

I feel like screaming, fuck I might just have destroyed my only chance at actually getting the woman I love, what is wrong with me ?

As I spring into action calling Luke, I suddenly feel quite a lot more sober, and I am relieved when Sophie tells Isabella to get lost, I don't have time to deal with her right now.

*Josie*
I feel lost and devastated, seeing Tom kiss that woman was pure agony, but I wasn't even allowed to be angry. I have pushed him away again and again, telling him he was a mistake.

If I had just allowed myself to feel, stop being so scared of doing wrong and accepted my own feelings, then I would have realised a long time ago that I had fallen in love with him.

Back in my hotel room I get ready to go to bed, and tomorrow I will get a ticket on the first plane home. But I still have to break up with Alex, I can't marry him knowing that I am in love with Tom.

I rolled up crying, I have managed to lose both men I love, and I don't deserve either of them.

When there is a knock on my door I don't know how much time has passed, I get up and walks to the door. "Who is it ?"

"Josie baby, it's me, please open the door, I need to talk to you". I hear Tom's voice on the other side, sounding pleading.

I shake my head, no he can't see me. I can't allow him to hurt me again. "No Tom, it is fine. I shouldn't have come here, I don't wanna talk".

"Well I do darling, and you let me in right now or we get in trouble with the hotel when I break down the door". I can hear in his voice that he means it.

I sigh and open the door, and Tom hurries inside, like he is afraid I will shut it in his face, then he closes the door behind him.

"What is it Tom ? Where is your girlfriend or who that woman was". I cross my arms in a futile effort to protect myself and glare at him.

He sighs and his eyes lock into mine. "Darling she is nothing, and I am truly sorry it did something that stupid. I was afraid to be drawn in by you again, to be hurt again".

"You.. hurt ?" I probably look a bit stupid, but right now my mind can only process my own pain.

He shakes his head lightly. "Sometimes you are quite silly. Josie I love you. I told you that, and I hurts me like hell every time you run out on me, telling me I am a mistake".

"I am so sorry Tom. I didn't realise, I thought I was just a fling to you, something you only wanted because you couldn't have me". I say feeling stupid for thinking something like that.

He steps up to me, his hand gently cradling my cheek. "I am sorry you felt like that and I know it is at least partly my own fault because of my... well a bit naughty behaviour. I still don't know what that is, it is like you erase that filter that should keep those things at bay and I just do or says the first thing that springs to mind".

"Oh and what is the first thing in your mind right now Tom ?" I ask with a teasing smile.

His eyes flame up and he roughly pulls me to him, kissing me in a way that takes my breath away and makes me knees weak. When he finally lets me go, I whisper against his ear. "I love you to Thomas".