Rory sat at the kitchen table, coffee in hand and took a sip. She grimaced and put it down again with disgust. Decaf. What was the point?
Thoughts tumbled through her mind. She had decided that she was keeping the baby, no matter how frightening the prospect was to her. She simply couldn't imagine not having this child. Unexpected, inconvenient, terrifying, but completely loved and wanted.
But now, she had to turn to practical matters. Keeping the baby meant it was time to grow up. She had been living a selfish Peter Pan existence since college. She recognized that now, thanks to the harsh but honest conversation with Paris, but totally confirmed once she had dug through her multiple boxes of possessions and found her keepsake box.
She found and finally, after all these years, called the number on the card she had received from Christiane Amanpour. She was shocked that the woman had taken the call, and after a short conversation, realized that she should have called years ago. Ms Amanpour was kind, but direct. There simply were fewer opportunities these days. Her staff had been cut viciously just three years previously during a "belt tightening" by CNN. And she told Rory about her start at a small station in Providence. How she had to work her way up through a series of small and insignificant positions to finally get her break during the first Gulf War.
Rory realized that she had been waiting for a big break without paying her dues. She had ironically turned down that entry level position in Providence that could have been her first step because she was holding out for the Times. That was the decision that had thrown her off track. If she had taken that position, maybe Logan would have been able to focus his search on the East Coast and they could have found a way to make it work. But she had thrown that away. And she threw away the opportunity he had offered her at the San Francisco Chronicle. And she threw away the opportunity for the Seattle Post after the Obama Campaign. And most recently she had thrown away an opportunity on the Sarah Says blog. She had no one to blame for her stagnating career but herself.
She had been chasing a dream that she simply couldn't afford to wait for. She had been to focused on the end game, the life she thought she should have and missing opportunity after opportunity. Just like she had missed her opportunity for a life with Logan.
Rory pulled out her cell phone and did the mental math. It was mid morning in London. Logan should be at work. She allowed her thumb to hover over his number for a moment. No. She couldn't talk to him now, while he was in the middle of his work day. She would wait until after work and call him mid evening. She frowned. But he'd likely be with Odette then. She needed to time this properly but wasn't sure when would be a good time for this news. She signed. Maybe an email would be best. No, that's the cowards way. She deliberated with herself, staring at his number and tiny image.
"That thing got you hypnotized?" Her mother asked quietly from behind her.
Rory placed the phone on the table and turned to speak to her mother.
"I'm trying to figure out what time of day would be best to implode his life." Rory admitted.
"Ah. So today's the day?" Lorelie asked.
"Yeah. I have to tell him, right?" Rory asked
"To be honest, that depends. You still haven't told me who the father is." Lorelie shrugged.
"What? Mom you know. It's Logan. It's always been Logan." Rory said with surprise
Lorelie put her cup down on the table. She didn't look at Rory and was silent. Rory was puzzled that her loquacious mother was silent. Lorelie held her coffee cup with a death grip, her knuckles white with the pressure.
"What is wrong with you, kid? What the hell were you thinking?" Lorelie's voice was quiet and low, but strong. She looked at Rory with anger.
Rory started back in her chair. She was stunned by her mothers reaction. "Mom - I love him, you know how much he meant..."
"You slept with him, knowing he was engaged?" Lorelie was clearly upset. "I thought I had raised you better than that. Hell, kid! You've been down that road before with Dean! Didn't you learn anything from that?"
"Mom, this was different!" Rory began.
"How? He was cheating on her with you. You know how that always ends!" Lorelie stood and turned around aimlessly before rounding back on her daughter. "You were the mistress. Are you proud of that? Is that who you are?"
Rory was fighting back sudden tears. "No. I'm not that girl. I know, mom. But I truly do love him."
"Funny kid, but I'm pretty sure we've already had this exact conversation before. Right here in this room." Lorelie took a deep breath.
"It just happened, mom. A year ago in May, I ran into him in a restaurant in Hamburg. And we went for coffee- that's it. We started texting and when I was in London or he was in New York, we'd just hang out and grab dinner or coffee or whatever. But then Grandpa... Logan came to the funeral, you remember? He and I spoke and he could see how upset I was. I was off to London that night and when I got on the plane, Logan was sitting next to me. He had gotten two business class tickets for us and I sat with him and... " Rory trailed off, tears streaming down her face. "He was so good to me then. It was just so good to have him there, supporting me. He and I spent a lot of time together that summer."
"And what about His fiancé? Where was she while you were having your summer fling in London?"
"Odette was living in Paris. She spent a year there." Rory admitted "I'm not sure why. She never came to visit. She barely called - as far as I know. It was like she wasn't an issue."
"And you and Logan talked about this? What you two were doing? Because I gotta say, as far as your grandmother is concerned, it was well known that Logan and this girl were getting married. She made a point of telling me, so that I could make sure that you wouldn't be caught unaware. And I didn't think it was an issue because as far as I know you were still dating what's his name."
"Paul. And it wasn't that we were dating, or not, but I just wasn't around. We just never got around to ending it."
"Dammit, Rory! What the hell! You can treat people that way!" Lorelie exclaimed. "I may not have liked him so much...."
"Mom, Paul and I were never serious..." Rory began
"Not Paul! Logan. You've treated him horribly, Rory! You broke his heart when you turned down his proposal. You leaned on him to support you through your grief, and you helped him to cheat on his fiancée. And now, you are going to have his child! And you haven't even told him!" Lorelie began to walk out of the room.
"Mom!" Rory sprang to he feet.
"God, Kid, I don't even want to know." Lorelie responded as she walked out of the house.
Rory sat stunned, and began to absorb what her mother had said. She had been extremely selfish in the way she treated Logan. The realization hit her like a wave and her head fell back against the chair she was sitting in. She had to fix this, as much as she could. And she had to start now.
