Family ever after

19

~Ava
"Well guys I would say that was a good session", my therapist said as he dismissed the group.

I've learned a lot from this whole thing. Ways to cope with trauma and depression and methods to deal other than resorting to drug use. I haven't been able to speak to my family since I got here. It's not that I couldn't talk to them I just couldn't bring myself to it. I knew how much I caused them this summer and I'm probably the last person they wanted to talk too. Shawn has visited me a lot and we are working on our relationship. Today he's coming by.

"Ava Caniff you have a visitor", the lady said over the intercom.

I walked to the visitors area and Shawn stood there smiling. God he's so perfect.

"Hey. How are you?", he asked giving me a hug.

"I'm okay. I had group therapy and it was great", I told him as we walked around the garden.

"That's awesome Ava. So I have some news", he said.

"What is it?".

"Your mom and Hazel had the baby's".

I didn't know how to react honestly. It sucked I missed the birth of Gina and Mia. I wasn't there for my mom or brother.

"Av you okay?", Shawn asked.

I nodded and kept walking.

"I knew I shouldn't have told you", he sighed.

"No it's okay I just hate I wasn't there for them", I shrugged.

Shawn stopped me and cupped my face.

"Listen to me, you need to take care of you before anyone else", he said.

I knew he was right.

"Can I see a picture?", I asked.

Shawn pulled his phone out and showed me Mia and Gina.

"Gina looks like me", I giggled.

"She's gonna be beautiful then", he smiled.

I reached up and placed a soft kiss on Shawn's lips. We talked the remainder of his visit and he had to leave after visiting hours were over. I get kind of lonely in this room and miss my family tons. I grabbed the phone the rehab center provided and dialed my moms number. When I heard her sweet voice I broke down into tears.
"Hi mommy", I sobbed.
"Ava? Sweetie? Oh my gosh hi!! How are you?", she asked.
"I'm okay mom. I miss you guys".
"We miss you to sweetie. I can't wait for you to meet Mia and Gina".
"Maybe you guys could come visit?".
"Oh possibly. It's just hard when there's two baby's".
"Yeah I get it".
"Hey on the bright side you only have one more month right?".
"Yeah".
"Oh honey the baby's crying. I love you".
"I love you too?".
End of call
----
I guess now that I'm gone everyone has there plates full and I'm just not apart of it anymore. Lucky for them I'll be attending college this fall and they won't have to worry a bit about me. I wouldn't want the baby's around me either. I could just mess them up. I dialed Shawn's number because he always knows how to cheer me up but when the line connected my heart shattered. A woman, his ex Melinda, answered. I hung up the phone and wondered why he would be with her? Has he been with her this whole time I've been here? What about all the kisses and hugs? Fake? I pulled my chest to my knees and began to rethink everything. The only reason I'm even here is because of Shawn and now he's not even going to try? I had been in here longer than needed so technically I could leave now but maybe I shouldn't. I don't know!!! I slipped a coat on and walked to the therapy office.

"Ava what can I do for you?", doctor Arnold asked.

"Do you have a second to talk?".

"Always time for you", he smiled.

I took a seat and spilled everything out to him. He explained that maybe Shawn just isn't interested in being here for me relationship wise but maybe as a support system.
Later that night I lied in bed wondering what Shawn and Melinda could be doing? He could be singing to her or kissing her. Maybe Shawn and I were better apart....I mean when we are together it's chaos and confused feelings. I knew it would be toxic to continue so I had to do this...