Always Out of Reach

He Saw Me Cry...

After my PE lesson with Daniel we didn't really talk much. I was too embarrassed to talk to him. Too scared that he'd think I was the same depressed, boring person everyone else saw me as. So I avoided him. Ocassionally I'd catch him glancing at me but other than that he for the message: I didn't want to be talked to.

"Hello Joey!" My dad gave me a rough hug when he picked me up form my mum's house that Friday.

"Hmm." I did my usual reply and got into the car.

"We're going out for Venessa's birthday today so make sure you wear something nice." He said, clearly implying that my current outfit wasn't nice. I said nothing, just stared out the window of the car.

"You know, when someone speaks to you it's polite to reply." He muttered.

"Ye." I wasn't really listening to what he was saying

"What are we going to do with you?" Everything he says makes my skin crawl. He says it in a sickly sweet way but just means it to get at you

When we arrived at his house i went straight to my room, well....mine and Jet's room, as usual and started to get ready. I hate going out for meals. I always see happy families and think "mine used to be like that." But, I suppose it's something to do. Rather than sitting around watching youtube with my headphones in all day.

At 5:30 in emerged from my room, all ready to go out.

"Oh you're alive are you?" My dad said sarcastically. "I've hardly seen you." I looked down, aware of Venessa's disapproving looks. She hates me.

"You're gonna need a coat or something." He said eyeing my outfit up and down. I'm wearing black skinny jeans and a grey sweater thing that could be seen as "feminine".

"I'm fine. " I said quietly.

"You are clearly not fine." He muttered He doesn't care.

"What?" I said getting annoyed.

"I said, you're clearly not fine." He said louder.

"Well maybe there's a reason for that!"

"No, you just need to toughen up and stop ruining everything like always." He snapped.

"Whatever." I stormed off into the car.

We drove in silence to the restaurant.

"Hello can I get a vegetable pizza but without the mushroom? Thank you." My dad's act began again, pretending he's a good, nice person.

"Certainly, and you." The waiter gestured to me.

"Can I get a margarita and a side of chips?" I said quietly.

"Chips aswell!?" My dad exclaims. To everyone else this is him being funny, making a joke. But to me, this is him hinting, hinting to the fact that I am not allowed to get chips because that would be greedy.

"Ha, you're right dad. I dont think in could eat the chips aswell." I laughed it off but inside I was dying.

"And you?" He looked at Venessa.

"Can I get a ham and pineapple pizza and some chips?" She smiled. My dad said nothing, aparently it's fine for Venessa to get chips.

We sat, waiting for the food, my dad and Venessa talking to each other leaving Jet and I to so our own thing.

After about half an hour the waiter comes over with our food.

"Excuse me." My dad called after him.

"Yes."

"I asked for this without mushrooms." My dad said sternly. This wasn't going to be good.

"Oh, right." The waiter looked awkward. "Would you like me to swap it?"

"We'll obviously!" My dad was getting angrier.

"It'll be a few minutes." The waiter was trying to stay polite.

"Well, I better be getting a refund for it. " My dad stated. His true colours coming out.

"It'll afraid I can't do that." The waiter said nervously.

"You can if I bloody say you can!" My dad stood up. I was aware of the awkward glances other families are giving our table and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

The waiter didn't say anything until my dad continued. "So, will I be getting a refund?" He said

"Let me go and see  the manager. "The waiter said and scurried off. I had had enough. I got up and decide to go outside. I didn't want to be part of this.

"Where do you think you're going?" My dad grabbed my arm.

I yanked it away. "Away from you." I replied and stormed out.

As soon as I was outside I broke down. Why does he do this? Make a big fus out of the smallest problems.

I waited outside in the dark, grateful for the peace.

"Joey?" I jumped when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turned around slowly and saw Daniel there. I hurriedly wiped away my tears and tried to act natural.

"Yes?"

"Well, are you ok?" He asked.

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I saw what happened in there." No! He was in the restaurant? Now he knew about my short- tempered father. Great (!)

"And?" I could feel tears rising again but I fought to hold then in.

"And then I come outside and see you crying." And he saw me crying. ..this just gets better.

"I'm fine!" I said not wanting his sympathy,  why should he care about me.

"No....you're not." He said firmly. I couldn't help it any longer. The tears poured out. Daniel wrapped his arms around me causing me to tense up.

"Stop Daniel." I said quietly...but in reality I don't want him to. He ignored me and, eventually I relaxed.

Then my wall goes up. I push him away and run off. I didn't need him.

Authors note:

Let me know what you think

Thanks for reading
Erin xx