Always Out of Reach

Home

I knocked on the door of my house. Why did I feel like I had to knock? It was my house after all. But was it? I hadn't really been living there for the past weeks.

I could see a figure approaching the door through the frosted glass. My mum. What was I even going to say to her? She hadn't tried to contact me. She'd just left me at Daniels house, not offering Daniels mum money, acting like I didn't even exist.

I could hear her unlocking the door, shouting something to Jet. Jet. That's when I felt guilty. I had left Jet. Completely abandoned him. He would be ok, right?

The door began to open. A rush of anxiety overcame my body. Why was I even here? I knew why....I had to go back home, I couldn't stay at Daniels forever. I also missed my family (especially Jet). No matter how annoying Nicole was or how insensitive my mum was....I still loved them.

The door opened, revealing my mum. She looked very tired and stressed with her hair messy and her eyes drooping.  She looked surprised when she saw me....but not happy.

"Ur...Hi mum." I said awkwardly.

"Joey." She said stifly. "Where the hell have you been?"

We went into the living room and I tried to explain what happened and how I just ended up at Daniels house, how I visited dad and Charlie, how I was supposed to be spending christmas with Daniel's family next week and how nice his family seemed to be. The whole time I felt like a stranger in my own house, my mum could barely look at me.

"How could you do that to us, Joey? Leave us at the time we needed you most. Now was the time for us to come together after your father's arrest, we needed you here." My mum said after I'd finished explaining. "You abandoned us......for some boy."

"I would have come home....but you didn't seem to care. You didn't try to contact me, or check that I was ok. You didn't seen to want me here at all. Anything could have happened to me. I could have been friggin murdered!" Now it was my turn to be angry. I was not taking all the blame for this.

My mum remained quiet. "Well....why didn't you even bother looking for me?" I asked.

"I did....." She said quietly. "Maria was the one who picked up your phone. She was very nice.....she explained the situation." My mum began to look upset.  "Then....she explained how sad you were. How the only time you were happy was when you were with Daniel. It got me thinking......maybe you deserved a break from well....me, us."

I stared at her...shocked. "Then...why were you angry at me when I came back?"

She sighed. "I wasn't angry. ...just upset.  I thought you might have come back sooner. I thought you might want to come back."

I stared at the women before me. I had no right to be angry at her. She was doing what she always did....looking out for her children. Everything in her life revolved around us and trying to make us happy.  Sure, she got on my nerves sometimes.....but she was my mum and I loved her.

It was time to go home.

Authors note:

I don't know where to go from here!!! Writers block😅

Thanks for reading
Erin xx