Always Out of Reach

Holiday

"I suppose. .....I could give counselling a go...." I approached my mum the day after she dropped the bomb about counselling.

"Really?" Her face lit up. I tried to smile.

"Ye, what's the worst that can happen." I was only doing this for my mum, the thought still terrified me but I had to reassure her that I was going to be ok.

"I'm so proud of you." She hugged me. How on earth was she proud of me? Proud of me for being miserable?  Proud of me for sitting around all day sulking about my life?

We were interrupted when I heard a car horn outside. There was only one person who that could be: my dad. It was time to go to his house. I grabbed my bag and plastered a smile on my face. I knew it annoyed him when I was happy, he wasn't in control when I was "happy".

"Oh, you seem happy. Makes a change." He smirked. I could tell he was trying his hardest to wind me up, so I didn't let him. He was not going to win.

"Yes, I am." I said. Even though I wasn't.

****

"Joey, Jet, Nicole, come in here." My dad shouted. We obediently made our way to the living room and sat down, waiting for him to tell us whatever he wanted to tell us.

"Yes? I was on the phone to my friend so hurry up." Nicole complained. If that was me, dad would have gone mental. But, because it was Nicole, if was perfectly fine(!)

"This will only take a minute." My dad did his sick smile. "Venessa and I have decided that we should all go on holiday next year."

"Oh where to?" Jet said excitedly. I wasn't sure how I felt about this.

"Germany, for about two weeks, camping" Now I knew how I felt about this. Two weeks. With my dad. In a  tent. No way to escape.  No thank you.

"Well Joey looks really happy about that(!)" Venessa said sarcastically. I wasn't happy. This would be hell. And there's nothing I could do to escape it.

I said nothing and walked out the front door. My mind went fuzzy and I began to get dizzy but I carried on walking. My chest started to tighten, breathing became difficult, but I carried on. Knots formed in my stomach and a grew shaky. I couldn't carry on anymore. I made my way to the nearest bench and sat down. Tears poured down my face and i grew hotter and hotter by the second. I didn't know what was happening.  This had never happened before.

Authors Note

Happy New Year, wherever you may be. Hope everyone has a great 2017 xx

Thanks for reading
Erin xx