Always Out of Reach

Counselling

"Joey, Daniel! How dare you walk out of my classroom." The teacher had finally followed us out....I started to get nervous again. We both looked up at her from where we were sitting on the floor.

"Oh..." She said when she saw my tear stained face and Daniels arm around me. "Are you ok, Joey?" She sighed.
I didn't want to speak.

"He would have been fine if you hadn't pressured him into answering that question, you could tell he was uncomfortable." Daniel snapped.

"Daniel don't-" I began before being cut off.

"No, if it wasn't for her you wouldn't  have had a panic attack." He sounded genuinely angry.

"Yes but-"

"He's right Joey." The teacher cut me off. " I shouldn't have pressured you, I should have seen the signs....I'm sorry."

"Oh you're "sorry" are you?" Daniel was getting way too sassy. "Sometimes sorry doesn't cut it."

"Daniel....it's fine." I laughed at how protective he was being. "But....do you think I could go home?" I asked the teacher.

"Yes, of course!"the teacher was being too nice now.....

That night, as I went to sleep, I felt just a bit happier. Sure, i still had the anxiety and sadness, but, I felt more cared about.

*****

Then it was the next day. The day I'd been dreading for a while now......my first session of counselling. Time to share my feelings.

I sat in a waiting room.....I hated waiting rooms. To make it worse, there were other people sitting there awkwardly, waiting for their session to begin. Nobody spoke, nobody even looked up.

"Joey Graceffa?" A cheery women stood at the door (when I say cheery, I mean practically dancing) and looked around the room.

I looked up and nodded. Then I followed her up some stairs and into a small room.

"So...Joey. Tell me a bit about yourself." She had cropped born hair and didn't stop smiling....it was a bit creepy.

"Urrrm...." I had no idea what to say

"Just know that you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." She added on the end making me feel a bit more comfortable.

"I-I don't know...." I still had no idea what to say.

"I know, why don't I tell you a bit about me first. " She suggested.

I shrugged. "Ok...."

"Well....my name is Michelle and I was born in London. I moved to America when I was 20 and became a counsellor at the age of 25." I didn't know how to respond. It was all too awkward for me.

"Can you tell me something now?" She said softly. I looked at my lap and shrugged.

"How about i ask you some questions then? These questions get asked to everyone and you don't have to answer them...but please try."

"Ok...." I said quietly

"Ok. Who would you say is the most important person in your life?"

I thought. My mum, Shane, Daniel.

"My mum."

"Ok." She wrote it down on her piece of paper. "Is there anyone in your life who maybe makes you feel sad or uncomfortable?"

I thought. My dad, Venessa, Daniel's friends.

"My dad."

And the questions went on and on. I began to feel a bit more comfortable. Michelle was nice, I guess, but it was strange opening up to anyone (let alone a complete stranger).

"And the last question.....have you ever thought about harming yourself or anyone else?" I thought for a while. Had I? I didn't think so.....

"No." I said eventually.

And that was it. Until next week.

Authors Note:

Thanks for reading
Erin xx