After all - Erik Durm Fanfic

28

Note: All characters, names, situations are fictitious. 

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MATILDA POV

We returned back to his apartment. We face-timed our parents and gave them the good news, and I showed them the ring. Both Erik's parents and my father were really happy. Erik's mom offered all her help with the wedding planning since she works with this business, I accepted immediately since I don't know the first thing about it.

In the next months I moved completely to Erik's apartment. We thought it was better because it was bigger and I felt comfortable in there. He helped me with the moving and all. I would see almost every day Erik's mother for the wedding planning; she was doing an amazing work with all the details.

The date of the wedding was closer now and I was to pick a dress still. I missed my mom so much, I knew she would have loved to be here with me, planning all this and picking the dress with me. I was lucky that Erik's mom has been like a mother to myself and she offered to help me with that too.

***

The day before the wedding I decided to visit my mom's grave. The sky was clear since it was the middle of the summer, this is the date Erik and I chose to get married. I bought some sunflowers for her in my way to the cemetery. There were a couple of families on the distance.

Last time I was in here I had an awful experience, and this is the reason why I was feeling so uneasy. I was paranoid, looking in every direction but also a feeling of relief invaded me when I remembered that Dima and Valan were okay now, they walked out of the hospital three days later.

I walked slowly towards my mom's grave and knelt down. I saw the tulips I brought to her last time, were replaced with roses not withering yet. I wondered who brought them. I made some space and placed the sunflowers next to the roses.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to think of her and her face. It has been so long since I saw her. I was 9. I sighed again and opened my eyes.

"Mom. It's me...Matilda." I whispered to the stone.

"I am getting married tomorrow." I started. I felt a knot in my chest. "With Erik... I am happy with him, so much." I said.

The warm breeze smelled like different flowers and caressed my cheeks. I'd like to think it was my mom's caresses. I smiled.

"I miss you and I wish you were here. I know how much you dreamt about this day and how you used to talk to me about dresses and receptions." I said smiling.

"I know you would have been an amazing wedding planner. The best of all." I said, feeling the tears forming in my eyes.

"At least I have dad... He has been incredibly supportive and even if he doesn't know too much about weddings, he had tried to give me his advice." I said.

"I am lucky to have Erik's mom in here. She had helped with everything. She's so nice." I said with a sad smile. "But she's not you." I said with the tears running down my face and my heart breaking.

I remained silent for a couple of minutes, drowning in my tears. I couldn't help but think how happy she must have been today with me and my dad.

I sighed looking down to my hands.

"There is this question... Wondering in my head." I said with my eyes full of tears.

"I've been waiting to ask you... Mom... Are you proud of me?" I said. This is something I wondered all the time. Is she proud of me? Of the woman I grew up to be? Because I've changed plenty in the last few months. I used to be reckless and carefree which sometimes was a cool thing but not all the time. I sighed and looked down to the grass.