Nanny

January 1st

"Harry?" Nanny questioned as she picked up the plates from the table. They woke up in time for brunch, breakfast missed.

"Yeah?" It seemed lately it was all he said. Then, again, he was lost in his thoughts.

"You said to stay for the holidays. They're over." Aubrey looked down. She continued to clean up the mess. The children upstairs changing to go out and play in the snow.

"I know what I said. I was buying time. I didn't expect you to want to leave. I mean, I hoped you'd change your mind. We talked—hasn't that changed anything for you?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

"About leaving? No, I think it's necessary. Things between us won't be the same. We're not comfortable as friends and I'm sure we won't go beyond more. I don't think we look beyond this physical attraction." How could she explain that yes she wanted to be with him but they both knew it wouldn't go any further if they tried.

"It's Ashton isn't it?" No, he wasn't going to bring him up in this. This was between them two no one more. "Look, I know we're in that thin line of we want each other and afraid of ruining things. I'm not asking you for more than you can give. I want this family to remain happy, united—just happy being together. That's what we are, a family. I realize you're not my wife and were not perfect. Why can't they be enough?" Harry tried to make sense of it all.

"We're a unique family, then. I'm not leaving. I am but I'll still be there for you. I just won't be working for you anymore. Things can be more mellow. I don't know."

Talking with him seem to confuse her. It was like he was sending mixed signals all over again. Harry made her feel like he wanted her more than he led on. She wanted him too but in the end of the day they knew basic facts about one another. It was nothing they could base their feelings on.

Only caring for one another was something which seemed simple and humain. It was in their nature to care for people in their life.

"I could come visit and it be like old times. I'm sure it would. We need space apart. We've talked but there's no space. We're here as if we need to remain in this nonexistent marriage. You hurt when I see Ashton and then I feel guilty. I feel like I'm doing something wrong." Every lingering stare Harry gave replaying in her mind. Did he notice how it affected her? How she'd pull away from Ashton when all she wanted was to love and be loved.

"Then answer me one question. Are you in love with him? Or can you see yourself with him?" Harry needed to know if her answer would break his heart. He could already feel his pulse beating hard against his throat. It was nerves.

"I barely know him but I know I'm hating myself for not letting myself enjoy every moment we have together. That's what you want to hear. Why don't we get it all over with?"

"Get what over? I told you that I don't want you to leave. Stay." There was no more he could say that wouldn't be using the children as an excuse. He already used it and it wouldn't guilt her this time.

"Nothing. Today begins my two weeks notice. I'll make sure the children easily transition back to school and other activities. Time to fill in the new nanny when you get her. Or maybe you'll find a babysitter which ever is better. Remember this is your family. Don't miss any more than you have. They love you."

"They love you too." Harry sighed. It seemed he was never going to win this fight. Every time he thought he made progress—he didn't. Or maybe he wasn't doing what needed to be done.

"I love them but I can't replace the love of a father. I'm a poor substitute for a mother. I tried my best with that. I helped them grow a little and I'm proud of that. I knew I wanted a family and I realize it's not going to be easy but there will be moments when I'll know all my hard work was worth it."

She heard Ed screaming. She smiled and shook her head.

"I have to save my poor boy from his sisters," she said like a mother. She got up and went to help him get dressed. His sisters were trying to get him dressed but as usual he was a stubborn little man.

"My? And you still don't realize you belong here?" Harry shook his head. He stood up and went upstairs and try to make the best of her last two weeks here.

There were no love confessions because that would be a poor attempt to keep her. She didn't feel that way and he didn't feel that way about her. There was love in his heart for her. It was that of appreciation, respect, admiration for all that she was able to accomplish for his family. He had a home once again.

He should've thanked her like she'd done or tried that New Years Eve day. She has her heart set on leaving. He knew he had to give it one last try before that happened. Then, at least, he could say he tried. No one could say he gave up.

"What's going on here?" He saw his son pouting as Aubrey helped him into warmer clothes. His sisters playing around and giggling.

"They mean," Ed pointed at his sisters which couldn't stop from laughing.

"Picking on you little man?" Harry asked smiling. His son nodded and smiled when his papa tickled him.

"What are we doing now?" Harry carried his son who was fully dressed now.

"Mommy, we fun snow." He said excitedly. He made hands for mommy to carry him which she gladly did.

"Let's go cub." She kissed his cheeks making him giggle.

"Em, Em," he called both his sisters. "Snow! We play."

"You coming papa?" Emily asked as she tugged on his shirt.

"Yeah, I think I need some time with my favorite girls and little man." He smiled at them.

"Good," Darcy pulled him as they couldn't wait to play outdoors on the four inches of snow. Harry laughed at the enthusiasm his children carried. It was refreshing to see what made them smile and giggle for joy.

{a/n}

January 3, 2017

So, I posted a new story. It's a Harry one again...oops. Check it out if you want. No obligation.

Anyways, did anyone notice how Aubrey basically said, "let's fuck"? No...okay. Bye.

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