The awakener (bxb)✔

TA 27

Riley's POV

He looked like he had just seen a ghost. I couldn't blame him. I was confessing to him something not to be taken lightly. I had panicked and bared my soul, laying my feelings out there. It was stupid. I couldn't take the words back.

This was not the plan! What made it even worse was that I wasn't lying. How on earth is confessing love supposed to protect anyone?

"Casey, just please stay" I said.

He shook his head. I thought he was saying "no", until he said, "What do you mean you love me as more than a friend?"

I sighed. I didn't want to elaborate, but the can was open. I had to say something. I chose the truth.

"I don't know how it happened. I don't know. You've always just kind of been my sounding board, you know? My chef, my test dummy, my diary, my audience, my wall..." I said and trailed off.

"You've always been my punching bag", he jumped in. There was a grin on his face.

I smiled and continued, "...The television soap that I don't want to watch always complaining about Calvin; a giver....of advice I don't want; you've always just been there and I guess I just fell kiddo".

He rolled his eyes. "And you have just ruined it. Kiddo, really?" He was smiling though.

"Do you want me to call you puppy?"

"You can't fucking call me kiddo. You are 2 months older than me!" he protested.

"Puppy it is", I said.

The mood had become lighter, but I knew the room still had tense air flowing. My confession was still hanging in there. Casey still had to process it.

I was about to open my mouth when Casey surprised me by lunging into me. He wrapped his arms around me in a hug and moved slightly back for a kiss. I couldn't deny him. It was short, but even it held some meaning.

"I love you", he said softly.

"Um..." I said.

"Don't say something stupid", he warned and looked at me. "When you were in that coma...it was the worst thing...and then you couldn't remember anything, you couldn't remember me...God Riley, I thought I lost my best friend. I thought I lost the guy I'd given my heart to without even knowing".

I felt my heart soar. I knew from the kiss the other day that Casey felt something. He wasn't the type to just kiss anybody. To hear him say he loved me made the irrational part of me happy.

I pulled him into a hug. His body was warm against mine. "Stay with me?"

He pulled out of the hug and I saw the anxiety on his face. He'd thought of something and it wasn't good. He was going to say no.

"What about Mandy?"

"This won't be the first time you've stayed..."

He shook his head. "No! I don't mean me staying; I mean...you are together. Do you love her?"

The uncertainty in his eyes drew me to them. He was afraid of the answer. He was much more vulnerable than before.

"Honestly, when I got with her I knew nothing. I don't really know what happened, you know. She was nice when she came to visit. She said how about we give it a try and I just said okay. I didn't even know stuff about myself", I said.

"And now?"

"I feel nothing", I lied. I felt something. It wasn't love, but Mandy made me go haywire. It was the thing that made me say yes to her proposal, but I couldn't tell Casey that.