Forgetting Roman

{seven}

{seven}

                A tap on my shoulder and a black backpack dropped onto the wooden table caught my attention. Looking up from my textbook I met a pair of hazel eyes and a wide smile. Declan, Livvy’s friend from the bar, sat before me.

                “Aspen, right?” he asked as he began to unzip his worn out bag and took out a thick textbook along with a purple journal.

                I silently nodded as I continued to stare at him in confusion. Why was he here sitting with me when the half of the library tables were empty?

                “I’m Declan- Livvy’s friend. I walked you back to your dorm after you got sick at th-.”

                “I remember,” I replied cutting him off.

                Declan flashed me a smile and shoved his black backpack to the side. “Cool,”

                After a few seconds of silence, I looked back down at my textbook and continued to read hoping it was enough of a clue that I didn’t want to be bothered.

                He didn’t quite get the hint.

                “What are you reading?” he asked.

                “Development of Mental Illnesses,” I told him.

                “Psychology major?” he asked.

                Setting down my book, I looked up and sighed softly. “Yes.” It was odd how I was majoring in psychology while I myself saw a psychologist. It was a rather awkward situation, really.

                “I’m studying for physical therapist.” He said, somehow getting the idea that I wanted to know in the first place, but I guess that was the thing about people in today’s time. They revealed a lot about themselves to total strangers.

                “Cool,”

                “So I was wondering,” he began as he leaned forward and placed both of his elbows onto the table. “Why don’t I see you around often? Aren’t you friends with Livvy?”

                “I wouldn’t say friends exactly, we don’t talk much.”

                “But don’t you two live together?”

                I nodded and shut my book. I wasn’t going to get any further with Declan sitting across from me striking up conversation every time silence lapsed between us.

                “Yeah but she’s hardly ever there.” I replied. “I usually have the dorm to myself.”

                “You don’t go out much?” he questioned.

                I shook my head, “I’m not much for socializing.” I admitted as I ran a hand through my wavy hair.

                “So you wouldn’t be up for a movie tonight?” he asked with a smirk tugging at his thin lips. “There isn’t much socializing done during a movie.” He added wagging his eyebrows.

                I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched him wiggle his dark eyebrows, “C’mon, Aspen.” He pleaded. “It’ll be fun.”

++

                “I’m sorry about last night,” Roman whispered into my ear as he stood behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist. Standing a few yards away from the edge of the park lake, we leaned against his car and silently stared at the slow moving water.

                It was one of those rare times when I was in control and Roman was sober.

                It was nice.

                “It’s fine,” I replied as I placed my hand over his and entwined my fingers with his.

                Behind me Roman sighed and kissed the base of my neck, “It’s not,” he insisted. “I shouldn’t have snapped the way I did. You needed me and I was a complete dick.”

                I closed my eyes and leaned into him. Though a few hours earlier I had been set on ending things between him and me, the moment he wrapped me up into his arms and told me he loved me, every thought of breaking up with him went flying out the window.

                “Its fine Roman,” I assured him as I turned my body and faced him. For the first time in awhile I was seeing him, the sober Roman.

                His dark eyes weren’t dilated, his breathe didn’t reek of alcohol, and he wasn’t angry.

                He was the Roman who I had fallen in love with, the one who treated me like I was his entire world.

                “Aspen,” he began but I cut him off and shook my head.

                “Its fine, Roman.” I repeated. “I’m fine, we’re fine. I promise.”

                Placing his hands on the small of my back, Roman pulled me closer to his body and tilted my head up. “I love you.” He whispered, his lips brushing against mine as he murmured those three words. “I love you.” He repeated as he intertwined his fingers through mine and brought my hand up to eye level.

Slowly, he pushed down the sleeve of my sweater with his thumb and exposed the fresh cuts on my wrist. I watched him as he studied the red lines, his dark eyes tracing over each one, one by one.

                “Let’s go somewhere,” he said as his head snapped up and he met my gaze. He never liked to look at my cuts- the fresh ones. “Just you and me for the weekend,” he added as he cupped my face between his hands and smiled down at me. “It’ll be fun.”