Forgetting Roman

{eleven}

{eleven}

                “Are you sure you’re okay?” Liv asked as she watched me run a brush through my hair for the tenth time in the last half hour. It was Sunday and like my mother had said days before, my father arrived in town at noon.

                When his number popped up on my phone screen I had been in the middle of studying for an upcoming exam. I had stopped reading mid-sentence and stared at my phone unsure of what to do. Answer or ignore?

                I ended up answering and held an awkward conversation with him for five minutes. In the end, he asked me out for dinner.

                I nodded and exhaled as I placed my brush down and stared at my own reflection. “I’m fine. I’m just a bit anxious.”

                “For?”

                “I’m having dinner with my father,” I admitted as I reapplied another coat of lip gloss over my pale pink lips.

                “Oh,” Liv answered as she took a step into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. “And is that a good or bad thing?”

                “I don’t know,” I replied. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other in a little over six months.”

                Liv nodded as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, “Well good luck,” she said with a small smile.

                “Thanks,” I replied, “I’ll be needing it.”

++

                Three hours after I left for dinner with my father, I returned. My dorm room was empty which meant that Livvy was gone for the night. I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or not. Dinner hadn’t gone as bad as I thought and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it all. For two hours we sat in silence, only talking when the waiter would pass and ask if everything was alright.

                The second hour was spent trying to make conversation even though neither one of us knew what to say. My father was afraid he’d say the wrong thing and I was uncomfortable both because he and I were never really close and because the last time I saw him was through half lidded eyes as he pulled me out of the tub, demanding for me to wake up.

                The third hour we spent together was spent in utter silence again as he drove me back to my dorm. It wasn’t until he parked outside my dorm building that he asked the question I knew he was meaning to ask the entire night.

                “How are you doing?” he asked.

                “I’m fine,” I replied as I glanced over my shoulder and met his gaze. “I’m doing a lot better.”

                A faint smile had crossed his lips and was followed by a single nod. “I’m glad.”

                Shrugging off my leather jacket, I tossed it onto my desk and exhaled as I let myself fall onto the bed. It was late and the exhaustion from today’s events was catching up to me. Kicking off my ankle black boots, I curled myself under my comforter ignoring the fact that I still wore my black leggings and mid-thigh dress.

                All I wanted was sleep.

                And as I closed my eyes, I let sleep take over.

I’d figure out everything that I was feeling in the morning.

++

                “So last night Jessica was drunk off her ass,” Liv said the next morning. By the time I had woken up Liv had just been getting in. Apparently she had spent the night with Violet, a friend of hers, though her extra messy hair and smudged make-up said otherwise as she stumbled into our room with her heels in her hand.

                I had washed up in the bathroom and walked out to her lying on her bed face down. I was half done making my bed when she turned over and began chatting about the crazy night she had with her friends.

                “She was such a mess,” Livvy continued, “I think she was upset about her breakup with Kevin because she never drinks that much.”

                “Who’s Kevin?” I asked as I took a seat on my desk chair.

                I was taking my brother’s advice from the last letter he had sent me. I needed some normality in my life, and if listening to my party animal dorm-mate talk about her night out wasn’t considered normal then I had no idea what was.

                “He had blonde hair, green eyes, killer body with insane height,” Liv described. “He was the one sucking face with Jess practically the entire night that you joined us at the bar.”

                I nodded my head as I now remembered who Kevin was, “Right.”

                “So anyways, she got so drunk that she started hitting on Declan! It was really funny! He was so flustered yet completely calm. It was both adorable and shocking. Jess went as far as straddling him in the middle of the bar!”

                I arched a brow and crossed my leg over the other, “And what did he do?” I asked her, now intrigued by her story.

                “He told her to fuck off!” Liv replied as she sat up and ran a hand through her wild hair.

                “In those exact words?” I questioned. In the few weeks Declan and I had started hanging out, not once did he strike me the type to speak to any female the way Livvy portrayed.

                My dorm-mate rolled her eyes and stood, “Of course not. Declan is the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. His mother raised him on good manners, and he respects women. He pushed Jessica off and gave her a water bottle so she’d start to calm down.”

                I nodded and ran a hand through my stiff hair. I was still wearing the clothes from last night and although my face was free of make-up; my hair was still stiff with hairspray. I needed a shower- as soon as possible.

                “So how did your dinner date with your old man go?” Livvy asked as she pushed her blonde hair away from her face and into a messy bun at the top of her head.

                I shrugged as I scratched my thigh, “It was alright.” I admitted. “Better than I expected, actually.”

                A grin spread across Liv’s face, “I’m glad.”

++

                “I’m surprised you agreed to come,” my dorm-mate said as we walked side by side down the college sidewalk that led off campus. After I finished showering, the first thing she asked me was if I wanted to join her on a little shopping. “You usually rather stay in our dorm than see sunlight.” She teased as she bumped her shoulder into mine.

                I gave her a small smile and stuffed my hands deeper into my jacket pockets, “I’ve been meaning to update my wardrobe so I thought why the hell not.”

                Livvy laughed and looped her arm through mine as if we were best friends since birth.

                “Well it’s a good thing you agreed to come with me then.” She began, “I have a gift when it comes to helping others with fashion.”

                I smiled and continued to walk besides Livvy, our arms looped through each other as we headed in the direction of town.

                Normality, I reminded myself, you need some normality in your life, and what was more normal than going shopping?