Forgetting Roman

{eight}

{eight}

                “So, you and Declan?” Livvy asked as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail. She wore a pair of yoga pants and a running sports bra. She was going out for a run apparently.

                I looked up from my cell phone and gave her an odd stare, “Declan and I, what?” I asked.

                “I heard you two went out last night,”

                “Where did you hear that?”

                “Jessica,” Liv answered as she sat down on the edge of her bed and began to lace up her running shoes. “She saw you two walking out of the theater.”

                Locking my phone screen I tossed it on my nightstand and sat up in bed. With my knees pressed to my chest, I watched as Livvy laced up her last shoe. “Oh.”

                “So are you going to tell me what’s going on between you two?” she continued as she stood up and began to stretch.

                “There’s nothing to tell,” I shrugged. “We went out for a movie and then he dropped me back off here.”

                “So nothing happened?” she asked as she stretched her arms. “You just watched a movie and that’s it?”

                “That’s it,” I admitted lifting my shoulder up and down.

                “God, my roommate is such a prude.” Livvy said as she went on to stretch her legs. Balancing on one foot, she folded the other until her heel touched her behind.

                I rolled my eyes and slid off the bed to grab a bottled water, “I’m not a prude.” I told her. “I hardly know the guy, damn, what do you want me to do?”

                “At least kiss the dude!” Liv laughed, “Hey can you toss me one, too?”

                Tossing her a plastic bottle of water, I sat back down onto the edge of my bed and gave her an emotionless look.

                “I’m kidding,” she laughed as she strapped her iPod onto her left arm and hung the white earphones around her neck. “Seriously though, I didn’t expect much. Declan is like the sweetest guy I’ve ever met.”

                “Nice to know,” I replied as I took a sip from my water.

                Flashing me a smile, Livvy grabbed her water bottle off the desk and asked me one last thing, “Are you sure you don’t want to come along?

                I shook my head and slid back on my bed until my back hit the wall, “I’m sure. I don’t usually go out for runs at eleven o’clock at night.” I replied.

                With an eye roll and a light laugh Livvy walked towards the door and replied over her shoulder, “Whatever, you’re missing out on all the real fun.”

++

“You’re such an asshole!” I screamed as I glanced over my shoulder and saw Roman walking after me. He was angry and so was I. “Why did you bring me out here? You know I can’t be around that stuff.”

                The weekend Roman has promised to be fun hadn’t turned out that way. The night drive out here had been fine. The three hours included silence, off key singing and small bickering over what exit to take. However, after we had pulled up to the cabin everything went downhill.

                What Roman failed to mention was that his friends would be here as well.

                “You can’t or you don’t want to?” he questioned as he walked into the bedroom we shared and leaned against the wall next to the door.

                “Both.” I snapped as I looked around for my leather jacket.

                I needed to get away, I needed to leave.

                “Aspen,” Roman called my name as I kept frantically looking around for my missing jacket. I couldn’t stay in this cabin for much longer. I felt myself slipping again. “Aspen.” Roman said a bit louder this time.

                I stopped and quickly turned to face him. “What, Roman?”

                “Stop,” He ordered as he took a few steps closer to me. “Stop acting like a complete psychotic bitch.”

                “You promised me a fun weekend,” I argued back. “This isn’t fun, Roman.”

                “You used to think this was fun,” he replied. “You used to be okay with the fact that I drank and smoked, and had friends that did the same.”

                “I used to be okay with that. I’m not anymore Roman, can’t you see? It’s not only unhealthy for you but for me as well. Every time I’m around that stuff, I get bad again.”

                “You get bad again because you can’t let shit go.” He snapped. “Learn to let shit go, Aspen.”

                I bitterly laughed and ran a hand through my pale blonde hair. For once, it wasn’t dyed an abnormal color. “You’re one to talk.”

                Roman’s facial expression hardened and I could tell my words hit a nerve.

                “What’s that supposed to mean?” he questioned.

                “You’re constantly telling me to get over my problems when you of all people should know how hard it is to actually do so.” I replied.

                “You don’t know anything about me.” Roman hissed as he closed the gap between us and pushed me against the wall. A gasp left my lips as my back hit the cool surface with force but I ignored the sting in my lower back as my gaze was fixed on Roman’s dark eyes.

                “You numb your feelings with drugs and alcohol.” I jabbed as I swallowed the fear he struck in me and met his gaze with emotionless eyes. We had gotten into altercations before but none of them went as far as this one had gone.

                “We’re two of the same fabric,” I told him as I ran my hands up his chest and pushed with force so a few feet were between us again. “You’re fucked up just like I am, Roman. Stop making me out to be some freak who you have never interacted with. We’re the same.”

                “We’re not the same,” Roman replied as he ran a hand through his hair and began to walk backwards towards the door. “We’re not the same.”

                But although he said we weren’t the same, the lie was clear in his eyes. He knew we were the same, he was just afraid to admit it.