How it is

Chapter one:

I hate you,
I love you,
I hate that,
I love you.

Christina's POV:

"I'm telling you, this isn't good for Scarlet" Meredith sighed, as she bounced baby Ellis on her knee. We were at a seminar thing, some surgeons from all over the world were speaking throughout the weekend, and everyone from Seattle Grace-Mercy West had attended for an hour or more.

This was the last day, and the last day was when all the speeches and presentations were done. The last day, was a mixer. Everyone who attended ate some finger foods and those with kids brought their kids along to mingle with other kids who had doctor parents.

It was interesting, to say the least. So many people were here, but yet I still only spoke to Meredith and the others; occasionally answering questions from people who knew I'd won a Harper Avery and wanted to be nosy about it.

"I know that" I sigh "but every time I try to talk to Owen about it, he just gets pissed off and says if I was home more, then things wouldn't be like this"

"He blames it all on you?" Meredith raises an eyebrow "last time I checked, he was the one who was jealous of all the time you spend with Scarlet"

Meredith had this theory; sometimes men who wanted babies got extremely jealous of said babies when their wives paid more attention to the kids than to them. I knew it was true; I'd seen couples all the time who were like it. But I never, not once, thought Owen would be like that. He was more mature and grown up than the kids who got on like that; but apparently I was wrong.

Because Meredith seemed to be completely right.

When she first mentioned it to me, I was completely against the idea. There was no way that's what was happening with Owen; was there?

So, I decided to test the theory. I spent a day with Owen, cuddling and watching movies and eating take-out food. Scarlet was with Mer, and I told Mer to call around noon to tell me that Scarlet needed me for something or other and to get my ass over there.

Owen, who'd been amazing and loving and sweet, immediately turned sour when I said I needed to pick up Scarlet.

"Owen, Mer said she's asking for me and I need to go pick her up" I'd sighed.

"Christina, you know she gets like this sometimes, she'll be okay in an hour. She's just in a bad mood and needs a nap" he tried to convince me to leave her with Mer for just another hour or two.

"My child is asking for me, Owen" I state firmly "I need to go pick her up"

"Christina, she's fine. She isn't sick or hurt; she'll be okay for another hour. We haven't spent time together in weeks" He argued.

"She is my daughter Owen" I grabbed my keys from the counter and threw on a jacket "and she wants her Mommy. I'm going to pick her up, you can start cleaning this place up"

Owen had been sour towards me for a solid two days after that, but I never once screamed 'YOU wanted a baby, YOU said you'd help me. All YOU have done is make me miserable! Just STOP, alright? STOP being jealous of the baby YOU wanted' like I'd longed to do more than once.

When push came to shove, he wanted Scarlet more than I did, but I seemed to care far more about her than I did about anyone else; even Owen. He loves his kid, don't get me wrong, he just loves me as much as he loves her, and, well, I love her more. She's my baby girl.

"Mer, we don't need to talk about it anymore" I ran a hand through my hair as I watched Scarlet play with Evie and Timothy. Owen was talking to Teddy, who was in town for the seminar but was leaving the next day. Derek was God knows where while Bailey played with Riley and Zola played with Sofia.

"Is that Addison over there talking to Derek?" Meredith raises an eyebrow. I look over to where she sees Derek, who is talking with someone that is most definitely Addison.

"I didn't know she'd be here" I say, as Derek laughs at something Addison had just said.

"Neither did I" Meredith mumbles as the baby starts to fuss.

"Do you know if they're friends or something?" I ask her, watching Scarlet out of the corner of my eye (who was currently with Owen, Mark, and Evie now).

"As far as I know they don't even speak" She says, confused, as she fishes through her diaper bag with one hand, and tries to rub Ellis' back with the other.

"Oh come here" I say, reaching over and taking Ellis so Mer has full use of both arms to rummage through the diaper bag.

"Thank you" she tells me gratefully, still rummaging through the bag, while I rub Ellis' back and coo soothingly at her.

"It's okay, Aunt Christina has you, it's okay baby girl" I rock her and rub her back, which calms her down. By the time Meredith has a bottle and a blanket out of the bag, she's completely quiet.

"You are a miracle worker" Meredith mutters, as she takes the baby back.

"Christina Yang, good with kids. Who knew?" Addison's voice sounded from beside me, where she was standing with Derek.

"Addison" I smile "good to see you"

"Good to see you both too. Derek tells me since I've been away everyone has had babies and gotten married, and I see that's quite true" Addison motions to Ellis, who's curled up with her bottle in Meredith's arms.

"This is Ellis" Meredith smiles "she's our youngest, we've got three"

Addison smiles "Oh that's wonderful! How old are they?"

I can tell Mer is kind of suspicious as to why Addison is acting all buddy buddy with us, and talking to Derek like he's her best friend. But she smiles tightly and answers anyway.

"Zola is six, Bailey is three and Ellis is six months old"

Right as I'm about to ask Addison what she's been up to in LA, a man walks over to her with a baby in one arm and a toddler at his feet.

"Mommy!" the little boy yells, throwing himself at Addison's legs.

Mommy?

Meredith looks at me, and I shrug. I had no clue Addison had kids.

"Meredith, Christina, this is my son Henry" she picks up the boy, who cuddles into her lovingly. "He's three. Say hi Henry"

Henry shyly smiles and says hi to us both, before burying his head in Addison's neck.

"And this is Carson" she points to the little baby in the man's arms "and of course, this is my husband Jake" she introduces us to the man behind all the babies.

"Nice to meet you" he smiles "Dr. Jake Reilly"

Meredith and I smile back and introduce ourselves politely, as Scarlet runs up to me.

"Mommy Mommy!" she exclaims, holding out her hair tie "my braid fell out!" because of her unruly curly hair, much like my own, I usually put Scarlet's hair up to keep it out of her face, but it tended to break free often when she was playing.

"She's yours?" Addison asks.

I nod "This is Scarlet. Scarlet, would you like to say hi to Addison?" I ask, placing her in front of me so I could start re braiding her French braid.

"Hi Addison" Scarlet smiles brightly; she had my smile, that was definitely certain.

"She's like a mini you!" Addison exclaims "she looks exactly like you!"

"She has her Dad's eyes, but that's about it" I smile.

"Scarlet, you sure are a pretty girl" Addison tells her.

Scarlet smiles as I begin to tie her braid at the end.

"Thank you, but I like being smart better" she says, before taking off to go and play with Evie.

We all laugh, my kid sure was something.

"Just as I said" Addison smiled "she is EXACTLY like you!"