How it is

Chapter fifteen:

A/N- a double update to make up for the month long gap between chapters. Enjoy!!!!

I'll take with me,
The polaroids and the memories,
But you know I'm gonna leave behind,
The worst of us.

Christina's POV:

15 weeks, 1 day pregnant

Before I knew it, a month had passed by without a hitch. Ever since Amelia's ultrasound, Owen and I had been doing well. I trusted him, for the first time in what felt like forever, I trusted him more than anything. He proved to me time and time again that he was worthy of my trust and so, I trusted him.

But what really confused me, was Amelia.

She was so...accepting. She was so open and amazing with our situation while all I seemed to do was complain. She was happy and cheery and embraced all the chaos with open arms.

Which was weird.

"Amelia?" I asked her one day, as we sat in the attendings lounge together eating lunch. I'd been eating when she came in and asked if I minded if she sat too, of course I told her to take a seat (being civil was something I was trying hard to do) and we were absently chatting about babies and work.

"Mhm?" She answered, through a mouthful of her sandwich.

"How are you so relaxed with this?" I ask "the whole situation with the babies and Owen and raising your child with two other people. How are you so good at handling this mess when all I can seem to do is despise it?"

She looked thoughtful for a hot second, but it didn't take her long to reply.

"When I had my son, I became a Mom. I am still a Mom, even though he's gone, I am still his Mother" my heart broke as she went on "His Father was dead when I found out I was pregnant; I went through my pregnancy feeling so alone. Before I knew about his abnormality, I was terrified about the idea of having a baby who would grow up only having one parent. I only had my Mother growing up and as amazing as she was, I missed my Dad" her voice broke, and she looked like she was close to tears, but she kept on going.

"I didn't want to raise him without his Dad. But then I lost him, and the only thing harder than having a baby is losing a baby. I felt so alone, I grieve every day for his sweet little face that I saw for forty minutes before he died. I held his little body, I smelled his little head and I kissed his little cheeks. And now, I'm gonna get to do that again" she smiled this time, a watery smile but still a smile.

"I won't be alone this time; the baby will have a Dad and a bonus Mom. The way I'm looking at this situation, three parents is better than one, and that thought alone is enough to keep me going through all this"

"How can you be so sure three parents is better than one?" I ask questionably. For all she knows I could traumatize her kid for life.

Amelia laughs "Scarlet is a good kid; she's funny, she's smart, she's kind and she's loved. You love her, and she is turning out amazing. I can only hope to have my baby turn out as amazing as yours is"

That, is the biggest compliment anyone could ever give me. Telling me my baby is a model child makes me beam with pride. Scarlet is my pride and joy, and when Amelia said those words I felt more pride than I did when I won my Harper Avery. Raising a good kid is so much harder than surgery, and knowing that I'm achieving, hearing confirmation that my kid is amazing from someone who isn't bias, that made my entire year, maybe even my entire life.

"Thank you" I say sincerely "and trust me, I will go out of my way to make sure your baby turns out as good as Scarlet; I will love yours like she's my own, and I'll do everything I can to help you raise the best version of your child" and saying the words, I know I mean them more than anything else in the world.