How it is

Chapter ten:

Oh you got a fire,

and its burning in the rain,

thought that it went out,

but its burning just the same.

Christina's POV

7 weeks, 5 days pregnant

"Christina, what the hell?" Owen stormed into the on call room I was sleeping in angrily. He was red in the face and I knew without even asking that he'd spoken to Amelia.

"Owen before you get mad-" I sat up and tried to start defending myself, but Owen was about a hundred different kinds of pissed. I knew I fucked up badly, and I knew I had to apologize to Amelia.

I should have done that before she talked to Owen.

"You tried to convince Amelia to kill my child? Is that really the only way of coping you could come up with?" Owen demanded "that is my child too, in her stomach, it is my child not just hers. And I know that this situation is extremely unconventional and unfortunate, but that still doesn't give you the right to decided what baby lives and what baby dies!" he was screaming, and it made my head pound. This pregnancy wasn't any easier than my first with Scarlet, while I hadn't been throwing up, I was plagued with fierce migraines that made life very difficult. I didn't want to take anything besides aspirin for it because I knew that sometimes hardcore pain meds when you're pregnant are not a good idea if they can be avoided, so I suffered through the migraines for the sake of my babies.

"I was angry, Owen, I didn't mean it" I rub my temples, trying to ease some of the pressure in my head. I felt awful for saying what I said to Amelia, but at this exact moment, my head was pounding too hard for me to acknowledge anything else.

"Well you said it, and now Amelia is upset, she is really angry"

"I'll apologize" I mutter, closing my eyes to keep the light out.

"You're going to have to do a hell of a job, because as of right now, she's refusing to share custody when the baby is born" That was why Owen was so angry, not because of what I said exactly, but because of Amelia's reaction to it. She wasn't going to let him see his child because of how mad she was with me.

"She can't do that" I tell him "you can go to a court and get split custody"

"What kind of judge would give some adulterous man whore who got his wife and another woman pregnant at the same time custody of a baby? Nobody in their right mind would. Especially since I've got Scarlet and our baby, it'll be hard to convince anyone that I want Amelia's baby and I have time for Amelia's baby" he kept on yelling which just egged my headache further.

"I will apologize to her and she'll forgive you, everything will be fine" i tried to get him to leave, just leave me be so I could try to feel better. No such luck.

"You don't understand what's happening, Christina! She's going to keep my child from me!"

"I do understand what's happening, Owen!" I scream, angry now "I do! You cheated on me and got someone else pregnant and now you're more worried about Amelia and her baby to give me a second glance! You don't care about anyone but yourself, you can't have your cake and eat it too! You cannot be married to me and have our children with me, then be a part time father to some other woman's child! It is too hard, I can't handle it and neither can MY children" i was breathing heavily; Owen still didn't know that my pregnancy was with twins, and that bit stressed me out even more.

"Christina-" Owen tried to talk, realizing how just how badly he messed up.

"No. I'll talk to Amelia and say I'm sorry. But as for us? I think we're done. And I'll be damned if you see any of my children after this" I stood up and walked away, leaving Owen behind me.

I meant it; I really did mean it. I'd keep Owen from my kids because all he did was hurt people. He kept messing up and I hated myself for loving him still, even after everything that happened.

I was still so in love with him, and it was pathetic. I needed to do what was best for my babies, for Scarlet, and keep Owen away from them.

He caused more hurt than he was worth and my job in life was to protect my children from anything or anybody, including their father.

But even so, a small part of my brain kept on yelling 'he hurt you, that doesn't mean he'll hurt them. He's their father they need a father'.

I ignored that part of my brain; Owen was no good and I'd be damned before I let him hurt my kids.

A/N- sorry for the shitty short chapter. I haven't had time to write and this sucks but I'm trying to keep up. When school lets out it'll be better and I'll update more. I'm so sorry.

Thanks so much for reading please vote and comment!!

~Daisy