How it is

Chapter fourteen:

A/N- please don't be mad that it took me a month to put up a new chapter! I've been really busy and it's been slipping my mind but I promise I'll try to keep a regular update schedule. Yesterday was Canada day (I'm a very proud Canadian) and so while I originally planned to have this up sooner, I was busy celebrating! Sunday is my now allotted update day, so every Sunday I'll be posting a new chapter! Thank you so much for reading, it means so much to me. Please vote, comment and follow!

And I'll find comfort,
In my pain,
Eraser.

Christina's POV:

11 weeks pregnant

Days went by, and Owen was doing everything he could to prove to me that he was working for it. He was working to gain my trust back, even going as far as to invite me along to Amelia's ultrasound.

"She doesn't mind, and besides, you'll be the step mom! It'll be an experience for everyone!" I knew that the real reason Owen wanted me to come along was because ultrasounds could get really...intimate.

It was hard to look at a baby on a screen that you created with another person and not get emotional.

"You go, get some pictures of the baby and I'll stay with Scarlet" I tried to reason.

"Scarlet can come see too! After all it's her sibling" Owen kept on insisting, but I wasn't about to cave. This was a prime opportunity to win back my trust.

I needed to be able to trust him with Amelia because she was going to be involved in the rest of our lives. If he couldn't get through an hour with her, how could he get through eighteen years? In my mind, this moment was the moment. If he could earn back my trust at any time, it would be this one. If he can sit in a room and look at the baby he created, the baby who is inside Amelia that they both made together, a baby that his made up solely of him and Amelia, if he can do that without any sign of having feelings for Amelia, then I know I can trust him.

"Alright" he says, leaning in to lightly kiss my cheek "I'll come show you the pictures as soon as her appointment is over"

~

An hour later, I was rifling through the OB schedule to see what room Amelia's ultrasound was going to be in. I won't know what happens unless I see for myself...or at least that's what I say to justify stalking an ultrasound.

Once I find the room number, I head down there, careful that no one sees me. I duck into the room quickly, but not before I'm spotted by Meredith, who says "Christina, what the-" rather loudly, forcing me to grab her arm and pull her in the room with me.

"What the hell?" She asks "I was down here looking for an intern I seemingly lost, what's your excuse?" She asks me with an eyebrow raised.

I sigh, but tell her anyway. "Amelia and Owen are going to be in this room for an ultrasound. I was hoping to see what happens by maybe hiding myself in the linen closet?" I'm trying to make this sound like it isn't as bad as it is. But it is, it so is.

"So you're gonna stalk Owen and Amelia's ultrasound to see if it looks like they could possibly have any feelings for each other that would make you doubt Owen?" Meredith said with her eyebrows raised judgementally.

"Well when you put it like that..." before I could finish, I heard voices outside the door in the hallway. Specifically Amelia's voice talking to the OB.

"Shit" I turn frantically before finding the linens closet and swing open the door, sliding in expertly and pulling Meredith in on top of me. I managed to pull the door closed just enough so that it looked closed, but not enough that I didn't have a perfect view of the bed and ultrasound machine.

"This is not good" Meredith whispered "this is really, really not good. You're fucking crazy"

"If you don't shut the fuck up Owen and Amelia are both going to know how crazy I am" I hush Meredith as the door to the exam room opens and Owen and Amelia walk in with the doctor.

"Your elbow is in my ribs" Meredith snaps in a whisper. I elbow her harder as a sign that she should shut the hell up as the OB explains the drill to Amelia; roll up your shirt, the gel will be cold, I'll print out some pictures, how far along are you, blah blah blah. Nothing I hadn't heard a million times before.

Owen stood by the bed the entire time; looking at the doctor, and then the screen when the ultrasound began. He was fascinated by the baby, he had the same look on his face as he did when we saw Scarlet for the first time in my tummy, and now the twins. He was in awe and admiration of the little baby in Amelia's tummy.

He didn't hold her hand or sit down with her; he didn't talk to her as if she was the apple of his eye and he didn't look at her like that either. He treated her normally, while still excited for the baby.

"Alright, I'll go grab some pictures from the printer. Sit tight, I'll only be gone a moment" the doctor said, before handing Amelia a towel and standing up.

"Amelia" Owen said, as the doctor left and Amelia began to wipe off her stomach. This was it, I knew this was it. He thought they were alone, and now he was going to profess his undying love for her. My stomach clenched up, my heart was pounding, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears. I was positive Meredith could too.

"I just want to thank you" Owen said, as I waited for what came next "for letting me and Christina help you raise the baby. It means a lot to me, and I know the situation isn't ideal, but I'm glad we're trying to make it work. Most women wouldn't want another woman raising their child, but you are amazingly open. You accept Christina and that makes me so unbelievably happy. I know she doesn't show it, but she's glad too" Owen tacks on.

I stand there, and my breathing stops. I am so shocked, so fucking shocked. I never imagined in a million years that Owen would be saying these things, I never thought he'd be so committed and so faithful. It dawned on me then just how much I love Owen. I was so in love, and a part of me always thought because he slept with Amelia that meant that he didn't love me as much as I loved him.

But I couldn't have been more wrong. He slept with Amelia, yes, but he didn't love her. He loved me, he was in love with me and he loved me just as much, if not more, as I loved him. My heart swelled.

"You really love her somethin' fierce" Amelia smiled.

Owen nodded, sporting a smile of his own "I'm here, looking at my child that's in your belly, and all I want to do is tell Christina about how amazing it is. All I want to do is share my excitement and my love with her. I don't want to be happy without her"

"She's your whole world"

"She's my everything"