How it is

Chapter eleven:

I can feel the chemicals,
Burn in my,
Bloodstream.

Christina's POV:

8 weeks pregnant

"You have to talk to Amelia and you have to talk to Owen" Meredith told me a couple of days later while we chatted over lunch. I confided in her regarding Owen and Amelia, and she was a big help to put things in perspective.

"I plan on apologizing to Amelia; as for Owen I don't know what to say to him" I sigh, picking at my salad. I didn't really have much to say to Owen in general.

"You know he didn't mean to put Amelia above you; he was just worried about the baby. He has a big heart and wants to love all of his kids, he wants to make it work but you and Amelia are both being complicated" Meredith told me "you can't keep his children away from him as some sort of sick revenge. This is an adult matter and you should act like adults about it. Keeping the kids to show him who's boss isn't hurting anyone except the children"

"Meredith he's screwed up so many times, and I don't want him disappointing my kids" I explain. My kids were my number one priority.

"You know my Dad left when I was five. I grew up without a father. And speaking as someone who never had a Dad, I would do everything I could in your situation to keep Owen in the picture. Is this stupid argument really worth your children growing up without a Dad?"

She was right; I knew she was right. I had to find Amelia and talk to her, then I had to talk to Owen. I don't think our marriage would be surviving, but our kids would and that's all that mattered.

~

"Amelia" I find her sitting in the attendings lounge with her feet propped up, no doubt swollen and sore. "Can we talk?"

"Sure" she nods, looking unsure and hesitant but regardless, letting me talk.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I shouldn't have said any of that, I don't have any right to say what you should or should not do with your own body and your own child. It was out of line and cruel. I'm sorry" I apologize. It felt good to get that off my chest.

"Christina, I'm grateful you apologized, I really am, but I know you're only here because Owen spoke to you" she sighs, looking more tired than I remember.

"Why would you keep custody of the baby over something I said and not Owen?" I ask quizzically "I fucked up, not Owen"

Amelia nods understandingly. "Yes, it was you who messed up. But you're Owen's wife and the Mother of his children. If I share custody of the baby, then you'll be there. And I don't want my kid growing up in a house where her Step Mom hates her. I won't subject my kid to that"

I can't argue with her there; I'd do the same thing for my kids. But I didn't hate the baby; I hated how the baby was made. There was a difference.

"Look. Amelia. After everything that's happened I don't even know if I'll still be married to Owen when the baby comes" it was hard to say, but it was true.

Amelia laughed bitterly, like she was angry. "You and Owen are the most in love people I've ever seen. I've only ever had one kind of love like that, and he's dead. He died, then I found out I was pregnant and the baby died when he was born. My son and my fiancé all died and I'm left alone, now you're standing here ready to throw away someone who loves you more than words could say because he made one mistake out of hurt and booze"

I was in shock; I didn't know Amelia had another baby. Or that her fiancé died. I didn't know any of it.

It made me feel that much worse for demanding she get an abortion.

"It isn't that simple, but either way I'm sorry. And I want your baby to be in Owen's life. Your baby deserves to have a Dad. Mine died when I was 9 and I don't tell people about him. Your baby deserves a Dad she can tell people about. So we need to come to an agreement and grow up; because we are the adults and we need to make this work" I'm practically begging Amelia now.

Every kid deserves a Dad.

"My Dad died when I was five. I want my baby to have a Dad just as much as you do yours. If we can make it work, and overcome our obvious differences, I would be happy to figure out something for the sake of the kids" Amelia agreed. I was so relieved to hear her say that, it was almost like a weight off my shoulders.

Now, all I needed to do was talk to Owen and figure out what to do about our marriage.

"He really does love you, ya know" Amelia said, seemingly reading my mind "all he talks about is you; his eyes light up when he sees you. The way he looks at you is...I can't even describe it. He looks at you like you are his whole world. He's fucked up, we all did, but hear him out. I can tell you love him just as much" Amelia seemed to know exactly what to say, and how to say it. Because what she was saying made me realize that Owen was worth it.

He was worth working everything out.

A/N- i personally love Owen and I know some of you are like wth what is happening he's an asshole FUCK Owen. But the next few chapters will fix it all, Owen will be back for redemption. He's a good guy. ALSO PLZ READ THIS: I will be posting a new crowen fic, a v short one only like 10 ish chapters, soon!!!!  I'll let you know when it's posted, but I hope you'll all like it :)

Thanks for reading. Please vote and comment!!

~Daisy