I'll never forgot you

Unexpected

Ashton

I got back home before running off to Jessie's. It was time to do what was right, end things. It was what was needed.

I arrived at her apartment knocking on the door. She didn't answer so I walked in myself.

I saw her and what I saw was unexpected. She laid on the floor crying and shaking. I went to her and snaked my arms around her waist.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" I asked as she sat up pulling me close as she cried into my chest.

"He's gone." She cried. "I never said bye."

"Who's gone Jessie?" I asked trying to push it out of her.

She kept crying and crying with screams coming out of her too. "He's gone, he's gone." She shook harder. "Chris, my brother, he's dead."

I sat still in shock. He's only nineteen, what could possibly kill him? An accident? An overdoes? Cancer? I just didn't know and I knew I couldn't end it with her now.

Ari

"Where were you?" Michael yelled as he stormed in my room.

"I'm so sorry, Devin was with me and then I lost him. If I'm honest, I don't know what happened at all." I explained.

He sat down next to me, "why not? Were you drunk?"

"No, I was, I was high." I said.

There was no point in pretending, I would have to say eventually.

"You do pot now!?"

I shook my head, "no! I never will again either."

"Why?"

"I felt lost, alone. I don't know Mikey. Seeing Cassie and Luke made me wonder why I was stuck on Ashton, but I'm not stuck anymore." I smiled.

"Why not?"

I was about to tell him when my phone buzzed. I looked down and frowned.

To Ari 🙈
I'm so sorry babe, Jessie's brother died, Chris, I can't end it now. I will tho I promise. Don't give up yet xxx
From Ashton 💕

"It doesn't matter." I huffed putting my phone on my pillow. "I am tired though, I'll talk to you after a nap?"

He nodded and left as I laid down on my bed. I thought I was going to get him back but instead I'm stuck here reminded that I am a cheat.

Ashton

I put Jessie to bed and messaged Ari not getting a reply which is what I expected. I feel bad for both Jessie and Ari and I feel disgusted in myself.

*ring*  *ring*

"Hello?" I answered and held Jessie's phone close to my ear.

"Ashton?" Her moms voice spoke all croaky and saddened.

"Mrs Jenkins, I'm so sorry for your loss." I whispered shocked to hear her.

She coughed a tearful cough. "Thank you dear, is Jessica there?"

"She's asleep at the moment, she just nodded off." I explained looking at her closed bedroom door.

"Do you know what happened?"

I furrowed my eyebrows confused, did she not know? "Uhm, no. I don't."

"Chris hung himself and blamed no one or nothing. I've sent Jessie a picture of his suicide letter he wrote but I wish I didn't. Would you be able to delete it for me?"

"I'm not sure mrs Jenkins, I'm sure she'd want to read it."

"Well, would you read it first and let me know if you deleted it or not?"

"Of course." I agreed and then she thanked me before saying goodbye.

I pulled up the letter and opened it up.

Dear family,
I'm so sorry mom, dad and Jessie. I never wanted to hurt you but I know this will hurt. I want you to remember you are my world. You never did anything wrong, any of you. No one did, I'm hurting for no reason and I can't control it. The only thing I control is my life and now I've decided to end it.
I know you'll find me mom and I'm sorry, I'm sorry you have to see me hanging there. Be gentle when you tell Jessie, she's my big sis and I know she'll be hurting if she wasn't here to stop me. I know you'll all blame yourselves but know that isn't what I want.
I want you to be happy, to smile, to breath without regret.
This is going to sound stupid but don't forget me, I'll be waiting for you with the big G.
Love Chris x x

I re-read the letter over and over. This will break Jessie so much, maybe mrs Jenkins was right.

I pressed the delete button and then messaged her mom before deleting the call and the messages.

I went outside and called Ari who answered almost immediately.

"How is she?" She asked and I smiled.

Typical Ari, "she's not so good, she's asleep right now." I said quietly.

"I miss you." She whispered.

"I miss you too." I hummed. "When I can I'll come see you."

"You can't kiss me, or hug me. I mean what I say Ashton, you and Jessie need to be you and Jessie before we can be us." She said sternly.

I huffed, "I know baby, I just can't do it yet."

"I know, and I get that." I agreed. "What you doing tonight?"

"Cassie and Luke are sorta a thing, she's been asked to join your tour and so have I. She's agreed so we need to go to our apartment and sort some stuff out."

I smiled, "you're coming?"

"I, uh, haven't said yeah yet." She mumbled. "I have a life here now."

"But I'll barely see you."

"I know, but I haven't made a decision yet so don't worry." She laughed. "I need to go, Luke's here."

"Okay, I love you." I said meaningfully.

"I love you too." She said quickly as if she didn't want Luke to hear.

I walked back in and saw Jessie was up with her suitcase packed.

"Where are you going?" I asked quickly.

She looked up her eyes red and her nose running. "Home."

I saw her grab her passport and her purse before closing her case.

"You can't go alone, not like that." I mumbled walking closer to her. "Wait for me to pack a bag."

"No!" She yelled and put her case on the floor. "I need to go alone Ashton."

She walked up to me pecking my lips then went to the door. "See you in 7days."