I'll never forgot you

Symptoms hidden

Ari

"Oh, mark, hello. It's Ari Clifford." I stated as I held the phone to my ear.

I heard laughter, "it's so good to hear your voice Ari, your dads not mentioned you at all since you've left. Maybe the odd occasion."

"Yeah, well, that's my dad."

"What can I help you with?"

"Well," I swapped ears. "I have been down lately and I need someone to talk to who I can be really open with."

"Another therapist?" He asked. "Why? You've done so well for a few years now."

I took a deep breath, "yeah. I'm engaged. But, he cheated on me a while back and I nearly married someone else. I cut myself again during that time. I'm also marrying a member from 5sos and have a large competition to my eating has been not so frequent. I've also been attacked about three days ago and I have a scar on my leg that makes me feel ugly and worried and-"

"Ari!?" I paused. "To be able to tell me that is vital. You can tell me over the phone, you don't need our help." I froze. "It may seem daunting but you'll be okay. Your fiancé can help and your brother, your mom also."

"I don't talk to my mom." I huffed.

He breathed out heavily, "Ari. Honestly, I can't help you unless you needed to come into the mental hospital for rehabilitation. Unless you needed to stay for while. That would only be if you tried to kill yourself."

"You can't even offer me support?" I begged.

"No," he said deeply. "Not when you rang up, hearing you sound okay. This is just a slip up Ari. You'll be okay."

"Will I? Will I really?"

"Yes."

//

"Hey babe," Ashton chirped walking in. "Did you sort it out?"

I shook my head, "I'm not bad enough. They don't want me to go backwards."

"That's a fair point isn't it?" He asked looking at me and leaning in the side his arms behind him.

I shrugged, "I mean, I guess it's okay. Not ideal but okay."

He walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist, "you know, we could always just plan our wedding."

I smiled and turned around in his arms wrapping mine around his neck, "we could." I pecked his lips.

"I think," he hummed. "We should get married as soon as possible."

"How? Tour starts in like 3days and won't end for just over a year."

He nodded, "but I want to call you my wife as soon as possible. How about two weeks time?"

"Two weeks!?" I shrieked. "We can't do that so soon Ashton."

"We can Clifford, trust me."

I thought about it for a second. I will be happier knowing we're married, knowing he's all mine. But how will all that work? How!?

"I don't know Irwin." I looked down letting my hands drop.

He grabbed my face, "please? I want this to happen and now."

I nodded, "okay. Set the date for two weeks time then."

//

"Two weeks? Are you both insane?" Michael yelled as we all were gathered on the bus.

"I think it's a good idea," Gina smiled. "Marriage is something to happen quickly not take years."

"Can I remind you we're going on tour in five days." Calum said looking at me and ash.

Ashton nodded, "I know. I've picked a date where we have five days off. We will go on a short honeymoon before a longer one during break next year."

"You've really planned all this." Luke smiled. "I support you bro."

"Me too, as long as I'm bridesmaid." Gina added.

"Oooo, same!" Cassie smiled.

Then I felt a rush of sickness before running off to the toilet and throwing up.

Ashton

Ari went pale all of a sudden before running off to the toilet.

"Wedding jitters." Michael laughed. "Two weeks is too soon. You're still young man."

"I've been with her since we were teens. I'm ready and so is she. She only cares for your respond mike." I huffed looking at the bathroom door and hearing her throwing up.

I walked to the door and tapped on it gently. "Are you okay?" I mumbled.

"Can you get Cassie and Gi-" then she threw up.

I knew what she meant so I grabbed them and they disappeared into the bathroom.

Ari

"Are you nervous?" Cassie asked closing the door.

I shook my head my eyes froze. I couldn't take this in.

"What's wrong?" Gina asked kneeling down.

I looked at her, "I'm late." I whispered.

"Oh my god, Ari." Cassie rubbed my shoulder.

"What if I lose this one too, what if it's already going because of the attack? What if Ashton doesn't want one?"

"Ari, let's get a test and then we will discuss it." Gina smiled and we got up and left the bathroom.

//

"How long?" I asked as I tapped my knee.

"You've done this before," Gina laughed. "It should be done anyway."

Then Cassie picked up the test and looked at it smiling slightly, "you're pregnant Ari."

"Fuck!" I cussed burying my head in my hands. "Shit, what am I going to do?"

Ashton will be on tour and barely see the baby, how am I expected to care for a child alone when I've lost one before.

"We need to get you to hospital though Ari. You were attacked and they need to know." Gina said quickly.

"How come they didn't notice? After my blood tests? Maybe the test is wrong."

"We still need to get you checked out."

//

"There, can you see the baby just there miss Clifford?" The doctor was smiling pointing at a moving blob on the screen. "It's all healthy and safe."

"What about the attack?"

"Baby's are more protected than you think. We will keep a closer eye on you because of your previous pregnancy and we will need you to see us once every week okay?" The doctor smiled.

"When's my due date?" I asked as I looked at the sonogram.

"June 30th." He smiled.

"I'm five months gone!?" I gasped.

He nodded, "some symptoms don't appear to the end."

"I've barley gained weight!"

"You will, once you pop you'll get larger. I'd say give it two weeks and you'll look five months gone."

Fuck, shit, bollocks, bastard.