Your Crying Shoulder

Respect and Trust

The ride to the CDC was awkward and silent. I kept my eyes trained on the outside trees as we drove behind everyone. The only sound was growling of the trucks engine. I knew riding with daryl would be like this. Especially after what just happened. I don't know why I told him everything. It just kinda spilled out and I honestly don't know if I regret it. I feel like if anyone else was to know about what my past was, I'm glad it was daryl. I felt some sort of trust with this man, a comfort that I've never felt before. He also didn't look at me like I was broken. He looked as if he somewhat understood? That's what I found weird, but then there was that last conversation I had with his brother,

"me and you ain't much different girly. We're the same"

My head tried to wrap around what he meant. Hell I could still even see the way merle dixon looked at me that day. He looked at me like a person, not some piece of shit you scrape off the bottom of a shoe, like a real person, almost like a friend. My brain was working way too hard around my thoughts that it cause me to yawn.

"Ya can sleep if ya want" daryl said.

I looked over at him and saw he still had his eyes on the road. The way his muscles looked as one hand was on the wheel and the other hanging out the window made my heart pound nervously. I didn't understand why. No man I've ever met has done this to me so why him?

"Nah I'm not tired" I said.

He said nothing leaving me to my thoughts again. This time wrapped around my family. My mom was dead. She was gone. She left me again and this time she wasn't coming back. A pang of regret hit my stomach hard as I think of the last few things I said to her and she still told me she loved me. I couldn't say it back. I've never been able to say it. I was just not capable of saying those 3 words. She probably died hating me and I wouldn't blame her. I was terrible. I didn't even bury her, Daryl did. He buried someone he barely even knew. He was a better person than I ever could be, that much is obvious. Then there was my grandpa. He hadn't said a word since mom died and the past few days he's been looking paler and thinner. I also noticed he wasn't movin around too much. Hopefully at the CDC they should have some insulin and he'll be back to normal in no time.

"Ya know if ya worry too much it'll give ya wrinkles" Daryl's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

Looking over at him I arched an eyebrow as he looked to me and then back to the road. Then there was this guy. Daryl dixon. A man of very few words, but a lot of action. A misunderstood man who's reputation has brought him down because of his brother. He was nice to me. Sweet at times, but he was still hard. He showed that to the group, but not so much to me. Why? I wasn't anything special. Still this man intrigued me. His blue eyes as blue as the Georgia sky. The way he makes my hands sweat by just a single glance. The way his scratchy southern voice can make my heart feel like it's gonna pop out of my chest and his protectiveness that make me want to feel his arms wrapped around me. I don't understand it.

"Why are you so nice to me?" I asked.

Instantly I regretted it because his soft eyes turned to a glare as he grunted,"I'm not"

"Yea you are. Glenn told me that back in Atlanta it was you who wouldn't leave till you found me. Why?" I asked.

"Cause I didn't wanna hear everyone mopin round that ya were gone. I went to Atlanta fer one reason and one reason only. Fer my brother" he growled.

Nodding, I watched as his grip on the steering wheel tightened making his knuckles turn white. I decided to drop the subject even though my insides felt like they were being squeezed. I decided to go back to watching the woods fly by as we drove. There was no point in talking to him.

"Ya call Rick officer grimes" he said.

Looking back in his direction I noticed his gaze was soft again,"yea"

"Why?" He asked.

I knew he asked me this before and now that he knew what happened I guess i could tell him the truth,

"Him and Shane were the officers working on my case. He saved me from my father. Checked in on me for a while until I was about 15 when we moved a little further in Georgia."

He nodded and I sighed. I don't know why I was telling him my whole life story. He didn't care, he just made that perfectly clear, but for some reason when he asked me something, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Then why ya call Shane by his first name and not Rick?" He asked.

Running a hand through my hair, I focused on the rv in front of me when I said,

" because I respect and trust officer grimes"