Your Crying Shoulder

Just Listen

Mae's pov

I stood In between carol and tdog at dale's funeral. I was gripping T's arm tightly because I felt that I would fall over if I didn't. Losing dale was like losing grandpa all over again and knowing he did it to protect me hurt worse. Hershel and officer grimes were saying some things about dale, but I couldn't bring myself to listen. I found myself starring at the striking set of blue eyes starring back at me from across the group. Daryl had distanced himself from everyone, but he was still there. This man truly entranced me. I was so zoned out that the only thing bringing me out of it was when people started leaving signaling the funeral was over. T nudged my arm when I didn't move,

"You comin?"

I shook my head and looked back down to dales grave," I need a minute." He nodded and started walking off with carol as I wrapped my arms around myself, turning back to dales grave. Noticing someone was still standing across from me, I looked up and saw Daryl with one hand on the strap of his crossbow looking at me hesitantly. My heart beat sped up as I nodded at him letting him know I was fine. He nodded back and started to walk off as I starred after him losing my breath as I watched the angel wing vest disappear. Looking back down at the grave, I sighed and gripped myself harder. No matter what I couldn't push the fact out of my mind that if he wouldn't have pushed me away, this would've been my grave. I knew dale wouldn't want me thinking that, but it was true. Everyone who I've gotten close to when the world ended has died. Mom, grandpa, dale, and Sophia. It was only a matter of time before the others do too. Even Daryl. My body shook when I thought of losing Daryl. He was one that I refused to lose and that meant it was time to change. No more being the scared little girl my dad made me become. I couldn't be weak and defenseless anymore. I had a family now. A family that actually cares and I'm not going to let that slip away from me. Starting with officer grimes telling Daryl to stay away from me. If I wanted to change, that was the first thing that had to be done. I had to talk to officer grimes. My stomach dropped thinking about that. I had never really stood up for myself my whole life. If I did there was dire consequences. That wasn't my life anymore though. That Mae is dead. That's not going to be me anymore, I just hope I can live up to my intentions.

"You're strong Mae" I heard dales voice in my head causing a small tear to slip down my cheek.

Wiping it with my thumb, I wiped my hands on my shorts and whispered

"thanks dale" and walked off to find officer grimes.

Keeping my breathing calm while I found him was a lot easier said than done. I was terrified but at the same time my adrenaline was rushing. I had to find officer grimes before it was gone. finally seeing him with Lori, I waited till she walked off till I approached him. He was facing away from me and ran a hand through his hair. He jumped a little bit when I asked,

"Officer grimes?"

Turning towards me, his body relaxed as he said, "you gotta stop doin that Mae."

I crossed my arms and walked closer to him, "so...trouble in paradise?"

He sighed and looked off towards the direction Lori walked, "it's nothing"

"Not that my opinion matters, but I wouldn't waste my time worrying about drama. I know it's hard not get wrapped up in it, but we have bigger things to worry about. And if Lori can't see what you do for this group, for her, than she doesn't deserve you officer grimes." I said.

"Thanks Mae" he smiled and rested a hand on my shoulder.

"Umm so there was another reason I came to talk to you" I said hesitantly feeling his eyes burn the side of my face.

"Oh yea? And what is that?" He asked.

My heart started pounding as I took a deep breath. I came over here with everything I wanted to say to him locked in my mind, but now that I was looking at him, it was all gone. I had nothing. Panicking, I started to stutter,

"So umm..you're going out again?"

He placed both his hands on his hips as he looked towards the barn,"yea . Gonna take Randall out a few miles, drop him off."

"That's what dale would've wanted" I nodded.

"Yea..so you gonna tell me why you really came over here?" He arched an eyebrow causing me to freeze.

Turning towards officer grimes I inwardly started to panic again. Breathe Mae. Breathe. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and turned to him,

"I know what you said to Daryl"

His body hitched and his eyes hardened,"Mae...I.." He started to say but I immediately cut him off,

"No let me talk. If I don't get this out now I won't at all" I said causing officer grimes to stare in shock as he nodded at my sudden assertiveness.

"Look I know what you've done for me my whole life. You've protected me. You've been there for me when no one was. You gave me a family and you didn't have to do that. I couldn't be more grateful for that" I started to say as he nodded.

"But you can't protect me from everything, especially when it's something I don't need or want to be protected from"

I stopped and looked at him as he starred me down. His lips trembling like he wanted to say something, but was forcing himself to hold it back.

"You had no right to tell Daryl to stay away from me" I growled.

"He hit you" he sneered.

"He didn't mean to! Hell I deserved it! I was being a bitch!" I exclaimed.

"Oh yea? And when your dad hit you was that the same thing?" He snapped causing me to flinch. His body relaxed when he realized what he said, " Mae.."

"No! Don't...look I needed you when I was a kid. I still need you, but you can't control my life and who I want in it. And the person I want in it is Daryl. I feel things when I'm with him. Feelings I've never felt, like I never thought I'd ever feel! And if you kick him out because he's around me...well I'd be walking alongside him away from this camp." I yelled.

"You're right" he sighed.

"And another thing!" I yelled still on an adrenaline high, but when I realized what he said I stopped, "wait...what?"

"You're right...I had no right to do that. You're old enough to make your own decisions." He sighed.

I starred at him shocked that I had actually gotten through to him as he continued,

"I was wrong. It's just every time I see you, I see that little 10 year old girl coming into my office the first time. You've grown up to be a strong, independent woman capable of her own choices. You don't need me anymore"

"I'm always going to need you, but I need Daryl too. I can't stay away from him" I said.

"And who am I to force you? I'm truly sorry Mae" he said.

"It's ok" I smiled as he wrapped me in a hug.

Pulling away from his embrace he smirked, "how about I try to work on my overprotectiveness and you work on calling me Rick?"

"Not while I'm still breathing...officer grimes" I smirked causing him to chuckle.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked back towards the camp. I felt an overwhelming sense of pride in myself. I finally stood up for myself and it felt good. I couldn't wait to tell Daryl. Meeting the whole group, I saw Daryl leaning against the banister to Hershel's porch and I smiled over at him and felt officer grimes squeeze my shoulder. I looked up at him and he smiled down at me and kissed my forehead before slightly pushing me towards Daryl. I smiled widely as I started making my way over to Daryl but my happiness was short lived and I stopped in my tracks when T came running out of the barn with worry in his eyes,

"Randall's gone!"