Your Crying Shoulder

Should've Been Mine

Mae's pov

Just about 2 hours after I fell asleep, I was nudged awake by Daryl. Groaning, I sat up and blinked the tiredness away from my eyes and looked around at the unfamiliar bar setting. It was then that the memories from last night fled into my mind and I turned back to Daryl who was standing there studying me,

"You good?"

Surprisingly, I didn't have a headache and I had never drank before. I could of sworn I was gonna be hung over, but it didn't seem that way so I nodded. Turning away, he went to grab his crossbow as I slowly made my way to my feet, testing the waters to make sure I wouldn't fall. Standing steadily I noticed it was still dark outside,

"What time is it?"

"Hour before sunrise. Wanna get ya back before everyone wakes up and sees the little stunt you pulled" he grunted while adjusting his weapon on his back.

Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms and said, "or because you don't want officer grimes to see you with me."

I watched as his body stiffened and he turned back towards me like he was gonna go off, but I stopped him real quick,

"You gonna say I'm crazy again? Cause I was drinking I just imagined what I heard last night? Well you're wrong. I know what I heard and I know what you did last night to protect me so I don't want to hear any of your bull shit. Now pack up everything you need and let's go Dixon" I growled storming past him.

Surprisingly, he didn't say anything. Didn't yell at me or nothing, he just followed me to the door quietly. Smirking to myself at actually accomplishing making Daryl Dixon at a loss for words, I waited by the door as he peered outside to make sure we were clear. Once he nodded, we ran towards the bike with only gaining attention of 3 walkers which Daryl took down easily since I didn't have a weapon. Once seated on the bike, I wrapped my arms tightly around Daryl as we made our way to the farm. The whole ride back, all I could think about was how I was going to confront officer grimes. How can you yell at someone who has done so much for you you're whole life? Someone who saved your life? Sighing, I leaned my head against Daryl's back and remained like that the rest of the way. When we entered the gates, I poked my head off his shoulder and looked to see everyone still asleep as he drove me to his camp. Getting off the bike, I turned back to him as he turned it off and got off as well. He was avoiding eye contact as he now stood in front of me,

"Better get back before someone sees ya" he grunted.

"Doesn't bother me" I said.

"Mae...' He started to say but I quickly cut him off,

"No Daryl. Officer grimes has had control of my life since I was 12 and at that time I needed him to, but I'm 23 now. I'm a grown woman. Sure I'm still scared and at times defenseless, but that doesn't give him permission to control who I want to be with or who I care about. I'm taking my life back with or without you." I said sternly not knowing where the sudden confidence came from and without a second thought I gripped his vest and pulled him to me, kissing him with everything I had left in me.

It took a few seconds until he finally started kissing back and he wrapped his rough arms around my waist. Once I pulled away from him, He just starred down at me once again looking like he was at a loss for words. I glared up at him, challenging him to say anything against me. Thankfully he didn't cause if he did I probably would've broken down and agreed with him. Smirking at myself, I turned away and stormed back towards my camp with a huge smile on my face. I didn't know really where mine and Daryl's relationship was, but at the moment I didn't care. I was on such an adrenaline rush, I felt like I could take on anything. Entering my tent, I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep so I grabbed my notebook officer grimes got me and started writing and drawing. Not even 5 minutes later, my tent flap unzipped and in walked tdog. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and threw a pillow at him,

"T! You jerk! You scared the shit out of me! What if I wasn't decent!?"

"Than I would've woken up a happy man!" He laughed.

Normally jokes like that would've freaked me out and brought back unpleasant memories, but with T, I could joke about anything. Just being around this group made the memories of the past come back less often. I actually barely even heard my dad anymore.

"You pig" I laughed while closing my notebook.

"Nah I'm just kidding. We all know if I ever saw you like that I best be running for the hills cause Daryl would be after my ass with that damn crossbow" he smirked sitting on the cot next to me.

Gasping, I punched him in the arm as we both laughed.

"So what you writing about? A certain redneck?" He smirked.

"No" I said defensively.

"That was a pretty quick answer. Liar" he smiled.

"T. Shut up" I laughed.

"Ok look there's an actual real reason I came here other than to mess with you about Daryl" he said turning serious.

"Oh thank god" I smiled jokingly.

"Hey you're my best friend. If I don't mess with you what kind of friend am I?" He smirked.

"You're probably right" I laughed, "so what's up?"

He seemed hesitant at first as he pulled something from his belt. My eyes widened when I saw the gun in his hands.

"Here" he said placing it in my grasp, "it was dales"

Tears filled my eyes as I starred down at the handgun. The weight of it feeling like tons as the memory of the last time I held one was at my own head. Daryl wouldn't let me have one since.

"T..." I started to say but he cut me off,

"Knew he would want you to have it and don't try to give it back cause I'm not taking it."

A tear slipped down my cheek and onto the gun as we sat silently. The booze made me forget about everything that happened 24 hours ago at that moment, but unfortunately it won't erase it forever. This was now the proof of that.

"He pushed me out of the way T." I whispered looking up at my friend, "that walker lunged for me and I didn't see it. I should be the one dead, not him"

"Don't say that. You know that's not true. Dale did what he did because he cared about you, because he knew you had reason to fight for. You may not see it, but we need you around Mae. This group needs you and I guarantee he would not want you blaming yourself for this." He said seriously.

More tears slipped down my face as I looked back down to the gun. T's hand rested on mine,

"He and your grandpa were good friends. This could be your tie to both of them. Don't lose it"

Looking up at t dog, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him as tightly as I could as I sobbed into his chest. I felt him rubbing circles around my back until I finally calmed down. Pulling away from our embrace he smiled lightly,

"They're about to have a funeral for him. You want to go?"

Wiping my face from the wetness, I gripped onto the gun and slid it in my belt and nodded at T. He smiled and stood up, offering me a hand which I gladly took as he led me outside to brightness of the now beaming sun high in the sky and everyone crowded around a pile of dirt with a cross at the top of it. A newly marked grave. One that should've been mine.