Chasing Time (Seamus Finnigan)

thirty-four

When I re-entered the common room, I found that someone had already cleaned up the newspaper . Seamus and Dean were sitting in a corner of the room and Harry, Hermione and Ron were talking on the couch in front of the fireplace. Instead of meeting my boyfriend, I sat down next to Ron and stared into the fire.

'Dora!' Ron's eyes widened as he saw me. 'Are you... okay?' That question earned him a look from Hermione. All three of them seemed to tense up the second I sat down in that couch.

I bit my lip, not even knowing whether I was or not. 'I don't know. I suppose.'

'We've been looking for you. Thought you might need someone to... talk to?'

Hermione looked a me, in concern, too. 'Oh, I was outside, with some new acquaintances.'

'Hey, do you want to go upstairs? We can... talk about it, or if you don't want to, we'll talk about something else? To get your mind off it?' Hermione suggested, still looking worried.

'Oh, alright, I think I'll say goodnight to Seamus first.'

 Hermione nodded, opened her book again, whilst Harry and Ron both watched me approach Dean and Seamus.

'Hey Dora. Feeling any better?' Seamus asked when he saw me. 'A bit.' He nodded. 'Good.' Dean smiled at Seamus before leaving us alone.It was silent for a few moments.

'Well, are you going to say anything?' I asked sheepishly, putting my hands in my pockets.

'Aren't you angry with me?' he asked mockingly, making me sigh in frustration.

I shook my head and threw my arms around him. 'I'm sorry,' I whispered in his ear as he held me thight.

'You were just trying to help me and I started shouting at you... Sorry.'

'It's okay. I understand you're mad.'

He leant back a bit to look at me as I continued to speak. 'There's nothing I can do about it now. The hope I had's disappeared now. Like smoke in the wind.'

'You still got us, you know. We're your friends, we'll never let you down.' God, how I loved his cheekish smile and his Irish accent.

'I don't deserve this, Seamus. I'm mean to everyone and my only family now are the Malfoys. And they did this horrible thing to me during Christmas break and I want to tell you but you're going to hate me.'

'I will never hate you, Dora.'

'But-'

'When are you going to learn you can tell me anything?'

'I hope very soon.'

'Me too. Do you want to talk about it?' I nodded slightly. 'But not here. You're the only one that can know, okay?'

'Yeah. Fine.' Seamus let go of me and took my hand and as we walked out of the common room, he entwined his fingers with mine.

Trying not to make any sound, we walked through the corridors. After trying a few doors, we had finally found one that opened and we closed the door behind us.

'What did they do to you?' Seamus asked, putting his hands on my shoulders. 'Look, I didn't want to. I want you to know and never forget. It was not my choice, but He was there and-'

'You-know-who? Was he there?'

'Yes.' Seamus looked more concerned than ever. My heartbeat accelerated.

'Okay, so don't- whatever you're going to do. Don't yell or anything, please.'

Seamus frowned. 'What is this about, Dora?'

I took a deep breath and then rolled up my sleeve, revealing the Dark Mark to Seamus. His eyes widened and he gasped. 'It's not my fault, please. I've been struggling with it and I can't live with the thought I'm one of them now...'

Seamus burried his face in his hands. 'You're one of them now? You're one of the Death Eaters now?' he said, throwing an arm in the air.

'How did you suppose me to understand? Why didn't you send me an owl? You didn't think this was important either?'

'They wouldn't let me. I'm so sorry, and I know you hate me and you hate this stupid mark and I do too.' I decided it was better not to tell me about this dream I had.

'How do you want me to accept this wasn't just your choice?' For a few seconds I just stared into his eyes, not able to believe what he'd just said.

'You can't be serious. You know me! I've told you I would never do this willingly. I told you so.'

'Well I don't know... You hanging out with some random guys, becoming angry whenever you like, the way you ripped that paper apart, the light had disappeared from your eyes, Dora. I think I missed something here.'

'It was just because of my father,' I shot back, 'It was just one night. You know me better than that. I don't want to lose you.'

'And Malfoy? Is he one too?'

'Yes. His parents arranged this. I had no part in this, you have to believe me.'

'Ofcourse I want to believe you. But promise me this is the truth. Look me in the eyes and promise me.'

As I did so, I saw only disbelieve and pity. 'I promise, Seamus. Please, I promise,' I whispered. He nodded. 'I believe you.'

But I never knew if he meant that or not.