Trapped

48

"You wanted to see me Chloe?" I say and peak my head through her office door.

"Yes Ella, please take a seat." She asks and I sit down on the chair on the other side of her desk. I've been working here for a week and a half now, coming back after school and stuff. It's so different without Shawn here, but now my job role is to just... console some of the inmates, but a friend to them when they feel lonely. a little like a counsellor, except unqualified.

It's a little weird that Chloe has asked to see me, I thought things were going well, it seemed like it was, so I hope I'm not in trouble.

"Ella, it has come to my attention that an article was released about you in the beginning of summer."

Oh fuck.

"I was on vacation myself so I didn't see them. A guard actually showed me the news paper yesterday. Can you explain yourself?" She tells me and slides the news paper over to me. fuck.

"I... I can't explain myself." I sigh in defeat. "I fell for Shawn I admit it, I didn't mean to. I didn't come here with that intention I swear but things... happened. I didn't do anything while in the detention centre I swear." I lie. If i tell her what we were doing in Shawns cell god knows what will happen, she'll probably call the cops.

"Ella... I can't begin to explain how unacceptable this is. We could be under investigation if the government saw this. Get shut down, these poor boys would be moved to different detention centres. Loose all the friends they made here and be vulnerable in a new environment. I can't tell you how bad this is. Really bad."

My heart stops in my chest as I feel like the biggest piece of shit ever. I didn't even think of the effect on this place when I was out with Shawn. I just thought about him, and helping him and making him happy in his first week as a free man. Considering how much he's fucked me about I wish I hadn't.

"What does this mean?"

"It means that this is sordid. I know that this is none of my business but for the good of this place I have to ask if you're still with Shawn... or if you were ever with him."

I feel like lying just to make myself look better but the damage has already been done.

"I'm not with him anymore... I haven't seen him in a month. He ran away." I make it sound like he's a lost dog.

"Ella this looks so bad. Do you know what people will think? That we let our staff fondle with the inmates. We could be accused of rape here, and all sorts. You've been intimate with a inmate. A prisoner. It's disgusting, it's unprofessional it's borderline illegal."

It sounds even worse when she says it.

"If you haven't already figured it out, we're going to have to let you go. I would apologise but I don't think I can after... after everything you did here you could've ruined us. To make this place look so sordid is disgusting. I should be reporting this to our union rep but I understand you're not a bad person. But this is so unacceptable I can't stress this enough. Imagine you were intimate  with one of your school teachers? We put trust in our staff to help and protect these boys and you took that trust and abused it."

I feel like shit, for one, I almost destroyed this whole detention centre, I betrayed the trust Chloe gave in me. No one has ever believed in me or saw the good side to me except Chloe, she saw potential in me and I completely took that for granted and didn't even think about how to consequences would effect her, only how they would effect myself.

I told myself this was going to be a new life for me, that this was going to be fresh start where I could focus and improve myself without feeling like I need Shawn in my life to function, and here I am on the second week and I've already fucked up and lost my fucking job. 

"I understand." I sigh, I really don't have much else to say. "Thank you for believing in me enough to give me this opportunity although I ruined it. I'm sorry for everything i've done." I say and leave her office.

I can't believe I've let this happen. My life is falling apart here and I have no one to talk to about it. I thought I didn't need to rely on Shawn but as soon as he's left me my life has been fucking shambles. My friends are lying to me and hiding secret girlfriends, my sister is having fun in london while my life's going to shit, i'm falling behind at school and I've been fired from my job after a week.

When I get home I feel like shit, I just want to get into bed and sleep, when I open the door there loads of suitcases in the hallway, what the hell? Is Vic back?

"Ella!" My dad comes running out of the kitchen, and lifts me into the air and hugs me.

"Dad... What are you doing here?" I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, god I missed him.

"Your mom cut the trip early." He puts me down.

"How have you been? you've been doing fine here on your own?"

I could tell him how I actually haven't been here alone; I could tell him that two days after they left Shawn came here and basically lived here until we left for london. I could tell him that Vic came back and was here with me too so I was never really alone until recently.

"I've been fine, have you talked to Vic?"

"Not for a while... why?"

"No reason... She just called me a few times while you were gone. She went to london." I shrug.

"Oh, did she go with Collin?" He asks. God.

"I'm not sure. You should talk to her yourself." I tell him. Hopefully Victoria will come home if she knows mom and dad are here and explain to them what happened with her and Collin face to face. Hopefully they won't be mad.

"I'll call her tomorrow, it has been a while."

I can't believe how tanned he is, how bright his smile is and how long his hair in. He doesn't look like the clean cut business man he usually does.

"I need to tell you something." I sigh and sit on the sofa, I just got fired and they need to know, I'm scared they'll be disappointed in me but being fired is only one of the fucked up things I did when they left.

My dad sits on the sofa with a worried look on his face, he calls my mom in, she didn't even say hello to me but whatever.

"I started my job at the detention centre last week..." I continue and my dad eyes light up.

"How did it go?" He says with excitement.

"I got fired." I break it to them, if they ask why I'm screwed, I don't want to tell them about Shawn, not just yet.

"How?" My dad looks confused and my mom just rolls her eyes.

"I can't say I'm surprised." She huffs and looks at her nails.

"What?" me and my dad both ask at the same time.

"You ruin everything you touch Ella. It's been that way for a long time. I'm not surprised that you ruined this for yourself. I'm just surprised that it took you this long to ruin it." She gets up from the sofa and walks away. "Anyway now that you've gotten rid of that dreadful job you can finally focus on getting a real career so you can achieve something in life." She says from across the hall as she disappears into her office.

What a stupid bitch. I'm trying so hard to be a good person, to get my life on track, some people don't really want to start actually trying until they're like thirty.

"Ignore her. She really was happy in India, there must be something about this country that she hates." My dad sighs. "How did this happen? I mean you were doing so well? This must be a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake dad." I sigh.

"It must've been, you were perfect for that job, I'm going to ring Chloe." He says and gets up to grab his phone, fuck.

"Please don't." I snatch his phone from his hands and throw it on the sofa behind us. "Dad it was my fault, I fucked up."

"How?" He yells. "I don't believe you did. you've waited so long for an opportunity like this I know you wouldn't throw this away. That place just has it against you, they always have."

"Dad! I slept with Shawn!" I yell and my dad has an unexplainable look in his face. It's a mixture of disappointment, disbelief and complete anger... Oh god I fucked up.