Trapped

51

SHAWNS POV.

"What do you mean you're not coming with me? are you not hearing what I'm saying?" How can she be telling me this? I thought she would be ecstatic, be happy i'm back and even happier that I have a chance at becoming an artist.

"You left me... You made me feel worthless and stupid and you ruined me because of it, it's only been a month but it's been the worst month of my life. You can't just come back and expect me to leave with you..."

"But... I told you I'd be back... I asked you to wait for me..." I stutter.

"So? So i'm supposed to sit here and wait for you? I'm supposed to not even look at other guys, deprive myself of a relationship and new experiences just to wait for you? When I had no idea how long you'd be gone? You said you were my lap dog... that you do whatever I want to make me happy... but here you are asking me to just sit here and wait for years maybe for you to come back to me."

I can't get my head around this, so is this a breakup? is she leaving me? or is she just not coming with me?

"So you're breaking up with me?" I ask and she refuses to make eye contact with me. "Is there someone else?" I ask and my eyes begin to water, only she makes me so emotional.

"No! god know it's only been a month."

"Then tell me why." I stride towards her, grabbing her perfect face in my hands. "Tell me why you're leaving me? Why you're going to throw this away?" I sob and she sniffs with her arms crossed against her chest.

"You did that yourself shawn." She says quietly, fighting back a tear. "When you left you threw away this relationship."

"No I didn't." I force her to look at me. "I told you I wanted you whenever I returned, everything I did was always so that we could be together." I press my forehead against hers. "So why are you doing this to me?" I take a chance and softly press my lips against hers, she doesn't protest but doesn't kiss me back, I kiss her again and her lips finally move with mine, when I slip my tongue in she shakes her head and pushes me against my chest.

"You don't get to come here and kiss me and everything is better! You did that before!"

"Shhh, your parents." I remind her.

"They're not here asshole." She rolls her eyes. "I love you so much, but you're so self involved that as soon as you came here you were just talking about yourself, what's happened with you, and although i'm happy it's a little selfish." She huffs.

"Selfish? sorry if i'm happy with how my life is finally turning out, I think I deserve a little happiness."

"You do Shawn and so do I! money doesn't buy happiness, just because I have more than you in possessions doesn't mean I'm happy like you are. you've not seen me in a month and you didn't even ask how I was." She cries. "I can't keep getting clobbered like this, I just want to have a boyfriend and be happy with him and my content with my school work and career." She wipes her tears from her face.

I sit on the edge of her bed, having no idea what to say. I know i've been a shitty person, I know i've been selfish and self involved but that's why I left... so I could focus on myself. Sure i've been selfish, but everyone has at one point in their life. You have to be selfish sometimes, you have to care about your own happiness or your life will just go to shit.

"So I can't do anything? I can't do anything for you to take me back?" I ask with glossy eyes and she just shrugs. How can she be shrugging? I need to know if there's a way.
"Please don't be blunt with me not now." I stride towards her and grab her face in my hands again.

"I don't know Shawn." She wipes her tears. her eyes completely dry now. "I don't know what's going to happen." She looks me in the eye and I can't help but kiss her. I press my lips against hers slowly, just incase she tries to reject me so I can back off. But she doesn't. Her lips press firmly against mine as she digs her fingers into my chest.

I''m not sure what's going on now, I'm not sure what will happen with us tomorrow or even in a few hours but all I know is that right now I want to hold her, I want to be close to her and I want to loose myself in her. It's not just about the sexual satisfaction with her. It's about being so close that I can feel her soul, I can understand anything she's thinking, and the fact she trusts me to be that close to her.

She's quick to lift my shirt over my head, before attaching her lips back to mine while removing my jeans. Our kiss is slow and sensual, while our movements are quick, full of heat and full of desperation for one another.

She pulls down my jeans and boxers in one swift motion and grabs me in her hand and I can't help but curse as her fingers wrap around me. She gets on her knees and runs her tongue flat against my dick before wrapping her lips around me. For once during our sex I am speechless as she moves her tongue up and down my shaft as her mouth moves quickly. She moans with me in her mouth and I feel like I can't breathe. I flex my hips into her mouth as I roll my head back. The feeling of her warm hot mouth around me feels amazing but I want to be inside of her. It's been too long.

I move her shoulder but she doesn't let up. "Please...." I hiss, hoping she stops her movements before I come down her throat. She gets up and presses her lips against mine again, taking off her shirt and jeans quickly. I grab the top of her thighs and she wraps her legs around my waist. I press her back against the wall, our lips still attached, our kiss still heated and feverish. I hold her in place as I reach over to her nightstand to retrieve a condom. I stocked a fucking bunch of those in her bottom drawer way before I left, knowing that we'd need them; I hope she hasn't found them and and used them with someone else.

"Where the hell did those come from?" She asks. her breathing so heavy and uncontrolled as sweat rolls down her forehead.

"Don't worry." I say, removing my hand from her back, with her body still pressed against the wall with her thighs wrapped around me. I slide the condom on and she watches me.

I place my hands back on her waist as I kiss her again, as her teeth grab my bottom lip I ease into her and a long high pitched moan leaves her mouth.

I thrust into her, banging her harder against the wall with each thrust of my hips, her moans louder with each movement.

I dig my head into her neck as she cries, the sound is so amazing, it's about to make me come within seconds.

"God I missed you." She moans and wraps her arms around my neck.

"I love you." I tell her, staring into her eyes waiting for her to say it back.

" harder." She replies instead and I do just that. My hips move quicker, banging her against the wall, the sound of my thighs hitting hers is about to make me combust. Her moans are louder and coming out in short spurts. Her fingers claw at my back and her lips attach to my neck.

"Fuck." She strains her head falling back against the wall, her hands pushing at my shoulders as her legs shake around me, I can't take it anymore as I shiver and release into the condom. I keep moving inside of her until her body relaxes.

I move us over to the bed and move out of her before discarding the condom. I lay next to her, not sure if I should wrap my arms around her or just keep my distance.

"I love you." I tell her for like the fiftieth time today.

"I haven't changed my mind. It was just... good to get rid of all that built up anger. What we just did... it was all physical." She tells me and heads to the bathroom.

I feel crushed, I feel betrayed and I feel like I fucked up so much that maybe we actually won't recover from this.