Trapped

17

Three more weeks to the trial.

The whole week Shawn hasn't kissed me, or touched me. And he's kept his distance when we're in front of residents or staff. In his cell he talks to me like he used to. Like he did before he admitted to liking me. We still read in silence and he still asks me what life is like outside of the detention centre while he's lifting the weights I keep telling him to put back. He tells me 'if I'm getting out of here in three weeks then I'll put them back then.' I roll my eyes and he laughs so I decide not to bother him about it anymore.

It's not as awkward as I thought it would be. We're acting like we feel nothing for each other which is weird but I'd rather that than things being awkward about it.

I got him a new calendar, with the date of his trial circled. The closer the date gets the more nervous and anxious I get. I need this to go well, and I know it will. But once in a while I wonder if he presses chargers.. When Shawn turns 18 he'll go to real prison. And that's next month. His trial is only four days before his birthday. So if things don't go well he could be in real jail and I'm scared of that. But I have so much faith in him. I know he'll get out of this.

"I want to kiss you." Shawn looks down at me. He's sitting on his bed and I'm sitting on the floor beside him. He's looking down at me as I tried to explain to him why whatever book he gave me today was a piece of shit.

"Shawn." I sigh, resting the book on my lap.

"I know I can't but I was just thinking it." He rushes his words as he sits down next to me on the floor.

"You have to stop thinking like that. We only have three more weeks."

"I know, but how can I not think it when you come in here looking more beautiful than the day before. You must know the feeling every time you look at me." He laughs.

"Yeah, obviously I do. You're stunning." I laugh with him rolling my eyes. "But it's only three more weeks." I repeat.

"Don't act like that's a short time because it's been already been one and I'm going insane."

"Shawn. I don't know what I can do to make this time go quicker."

"Act like you need me like I need you." He looks at me. Since when did he become all sappy and love struck?

"I can't do that." I sigh.

"Yes you can." He breaths running his hand up and down my thigh. His touch is so soft and light that I almost can't feel it. It has me craving more. I know what he's doing. He's trying to tempt me and get me to want him. It's fucking working but I won't tell him that. I won't give in.

"Stop." I swat his hand off my thigh.

"If you can look me in the eye." He presses one of his fingers against my cheeks making me face him. "And tell me." He moves his finger to run across my bottom lip. "That you don't want to kiss me." He takes a deep breath and moves his head closer. "Then I'll stop."

He has a massive grin on his face knowing he's won. He knows I want to kiss him but I won't say it and give into his little game, I just stay silent and look at his glossy brown eyes.

"Do you want me to stop or not?" He asks and I feel unable to speak as his finger runs across my lips and I feel myself panting like an animal which I'm sure he can feel on his own skin.

I can't help myself I shake my head. I don't want him to stop. I want him to stop torturing me like this yes, but I don't want him to stop and I can't feel his skin on mine.

"I knew it." He grins, moving his face closer to mins until he kisses me.

I mentally curse myself for letting him but the feel of his lips on mine is enough for me to forgive myself. His lips are warm and his hand travels to my hip. I grip the collar of his jumpsuit and move onto his lap. My legs either side of him as he rests his back on the length of this bed.