Trapped

49

"You what!" My dad screams, I take him into the dining room and lock the door so my mom can't hear us. "This is crazy, I mean clearly you're lying to me I mean clearly this is some sort of sick twisted joke." My dad says frantically.

"It's not a joke dad, I... did things with him, in his cell. That's why I got fired." I admit and he looks disgusted and ashamed.

"Did he touch you? I mean did he force you to do things you didn't want to do." He gets on his knees and grabs my arms as I can't help the tears that spill from my eyes.

"No, no dad." I sob.

"Because I can sue them. I'll get us the best lawyers and they'll put that little pervert right back where he belongs." He places his hands on my face.

"Dad no! I love him!" I cry and he backs away from me.

I feel ashamed of myself for losing my job and what I did in that detention centre, but not about my feelings for Shawn, I'm tired of hiding it from my dad.

"Ella... are you absolutely crazy? I'm being serious, have you lost your mind?" He says calmly, which is unsettling.

"Dad I don't know what happened. I tried to shut him out dad you know me, but he just kept creeping into my head and winning me over and I don't know I was dumb enough to fall for it."

"Dumb enough? that doesn't even begin to explain it! You were an absolute moron Ella! You, my little princess you... you had sex with a convict." He whispers the word as if it's toxic.

"It's not like I haven't slept with anyone before dad, you have no problem with Aaron." I sigh.

"What?"

Oops.

"I..." I stutter, I forgot that I never told my dad about Aaron. Not only did we know he would freak the fuck out, but my relationship with my dad was so different back then too.

"You slept with Aaron? Aaron Carpenter? Ella what the fuck! I leave for a few months and you've slept with our entire neighbourhood!"

"Fuck you! You left me and think you can tell me about my decisions!" I finally yell back at him, he has no right to talk about me that way, aaron was a long time ago. "Aaron was a long time ago first off, I didn't wait until you left to jump into bed with everyone I know! I only slept with Shawn because I loved him, and you left me, when we were getting our relationship back on track you packed your bags and left dad, you left me here on my own knowing I am not capable of taking care of myself but want to come to me and tell me that my decisions were shit? Maybe if you were here nothing would've happened!" I slap him on the chest.

"What would it have mattered if I was here? You had sex with that boy in the detention centre." He says quietly, not as a question, not as a fact, he's saying it as if he knows that's not true and he's just waiting for me to admit it myself. "You slept with him in this house didn't you?" He asks and I am speechless.

"Damnit Ella!" He screams. "Tell me one thing, if you love this boy, I mean really love him, and he was worth you losing your job over where is he now?"

"Not here, he left."

"Left from where?" He asks and I look at him confused.

"I don't know, Canada?"

"No Ella, I mean where did he leave from. Did he leave from his home?" He tries to catch me out.

"He... he was homeless."

"Oh, so I guess while he lived on the street he was still your boyfriend?" He says sarcastically, he knows what he's trying to make me do and I can't find a way out.

"He lived here dad." I say quietly.

"Jesus fucking christ Ella, we leave for what two months? And you've shacked up with a convict and what's worse you let him stay in our fucking house! Who knows what could've happened to you, alone in this house with him!" He screams.

"He had nowhere to go dad what the hell was I supposed to do? Let him be homeless? His mom didn't want him, he was lonely and had no money so I obviously gave him a place to stay! I obviously helped him out, let him see the world!"

"Let him see the world?" My dad growls and I stay silent. "Ella, how did you let him see the world?"

"We... we took a small vacation out of town." I shrug.

"How far out of town?"

"London." I whisper and he flips over a chair.

"Stop!" I yell at him.

"You spent the money we gave you to fucking eat and live off of to take that free loader to london? How the hell did you go there alone, to a different country unsupervised, god he could've killed you out there!"

"We weren't unsupervised! Vic was there!" I scream and he looks confused.

"Did that boy get you hooked on drugs? Vic lives in the states."

"Dad vic came back." I sigh.

"And i'm supposed to believe she allowed you to live with this convict? That she slept under the same roof as him? That she travelled to london with you both? Where is she now then El?" My father questions.

"Dad please sit down. Let me tell you everything."

He takes a seat and I sit opposite him and tell him everything. I tell him about the first time me and Shawn kissed, and how I really did like him back then even though he was a pain in my ass, I tell him about the first time Shawn came here, and lied and told me he had a place to say, I tell him how Shawn has never actually asked me for anything, the only thing he ever actually asked me for was my time and love and affection. I tell him about when Vic came, but leave out the details of her leaving her husband as that's her story to tell and not mine. I tell him how Vic hated Shawn at first but got used to him and saw the good person he was, I tell him how Shawn gets angry sometimes and that anger got us kicked out of London, and I tell him how Shawn left me, because he thought he was dragging me down and I would be better off without him, which I haven't been. 

"So what now Ella? What happens now?" He tells me when I finish speaking.

"I don't know dad. I just want to forget about everything. And Shawn... he's in the past."

"I don't believe that." He says.

"It doesn't matter what you believe. He left me and isn't coming back, you'd rather have him gone than here right? so can we just not talk about it?"

I tell him and he just stares at me for a while.

"You were always a difficult child when it came to your attitude. Although your mother told me that you needed... professional discipline, I always believed you had good in you, and that you were ambitious and would succeed and this... Is something I didn't except... You... you lived up to your mothers expectations of you." He tells me and leaves the room.

I can't help myself as uncontrolled tears fall from my eyes because he's right.