Turning Tables (ON-GOING)

Chapter Eight

Fault

We're under a shed right now. Hindi na gaano ka lakas ang ulan but still, we waited for it to stop. Nakaupo ako habang si Kiel naman ay nakatayo lang sa gilid ko at nakasandal sa post. I told him that we can share a seat but he insisted to just stand at ako lang ang uupo. Can't believe we're here!

Wala pa sa aming dalawa ang nagsasalita simula n'ong nangyari kanina. All he did was guide me here sa shed. He even tried to cover me with his polo kahit mababasa pa rin ako. He made sure na okay ako.

I told him that I should better go, pero ayaw nya akong umuwi na mag-isa. He even offered that he'll take me home.. well mukhang hindi iyon offer n'ong sinabi niya iyon. It was more like it was his responsibility to take me home.

And just now, I realized how dumb I was. What I did awhile ago was a stupid move. Kung hindi lang sana ako bumaba sa sasakyan namin hindi sana kami nauwi sa ganitong kalagayan. Mas lalo ko lang pinapahirapan si Kiel, pati na rin ang sarili ko. Maybe I'm at my house right now, enjoying a warm hot bath. While Kiel's home too, doing his assignments or whatever.

Damn it, Ellie! Ano ba'ng pumasok sa isip mo para gawin ito ah? You're just making things complicated. Can you really go home alone? Ano'ng gagawin mo? Magpupublic transportation? Hell, no!

The rain stopped at nagsi-alisan na ang ibang tao sa shed. Ang iba naman ay sumakay na sa mga public vehicles. Napatingin ako sa aking paligid at liningon na si Kiel. It was a sign for me to say sorry sa ginawa ko kanina and I should better go home.

My conscience is eating me up cuz I am being a pain in his ass. I stood up. Kiel then looked at me. Behind his glasses I can see that his eyes are tired.

God, seeing him right now with an exhausted look at basang-basa sa ulan, mas lalo akong kinakain ng konsensya ko. I sighed bago ako nagsalita.

"Kiel.. I'm sorry" agad akong yumuko pagkatapos ko iyong sabihin. I bit my lower lip.

Hindi siya nagsalita. Maybe he's mad at me dahil sa ginawa ko. Maybe he's trying to control his temper. Maybe he wants to yell at me for how stupid I am! I never felt so little right now.

In my entire life I never lowered down my pride but now ang liit-liit ng tingin ko sa aking sarili. I shouldn't have gone out of our damn car at magpaulan para lang ipakita sa kanya na magkakasundo talaga kami. Fucking stupid.

"I'm sorry for giving you a headache. I'm sorry for arguing with you and trying to prove that we can communicate well. Siguro, tama ka nga. Hindi talaga tayo magkakasundo. We're totally opposite and tanggap ko na iyon... I hope magiging successful parin iyong booth natin kahit ganito tayo. I'm sorry again Kiel" at dahan-dahan ko siyang tinignan sa mga mata.

I don't want him to think that I'm weak. I just lowered down my pride and he deserves an apology. Even though I'm a brat, I still know how to be kind and know what's the right thing to do.

I waited for him to speak or scold me. I'm ready for him to reject me again for the second time. I'm prepared to hear negative words from him kahit hindi ko kaya iyong tanggapin cuz it will only hurt my ego.

Maybe this is gonna be the last time na magpapasermon ako sa kanya, because tonight, I'm gonna promise myself that I'm not gonna do stupid things na thay will involve Kiel.

He's holding the straps of his backpack. I waited for him to say something but all I received was a silent treatment. Maybe he's really mad, kaya ang ginawa ko na lang ay umalis na d'on sa shed.

I walked away from him. Hindi ko alam kong ano'ng sasakyan na public transportation papunta sa amin kaya magtataxi nalang ako. I have no choice! Can't imagine myself living alone.