cupid paints blindly {book 2}

16

Jared's POV - 7:30 p.m., Friday, February 10th, 2017, Year 1.

I never told Lily that I had spied on her and her brother that night, and I hoped she didn't find out nonetheless. If she had, I would at least think she would tell me or scream at me in chastisement by now. But no, none of that has happened...yet. And I wasn't sure that I was ready for another round of yelling from her to come.
I had to plan for my meet-up with Margot on a subtile date, one that I would be sure to have Lily out of the way assuredly. Luckily, an opportunity was ready at-hand however. Lily told me that Abram and her were going on a trip to visit their family for a day, and that hopefully this would be a re-bonding time for them.
I couldn't help but have my heart fill with sorrow every time she mentioned this; I felt somewhere within me I could relate to her feeling excluding. Somewhere in my distant memory, I could see it. Something that wasn't that far off...
"Jared, can I talk to you for a minute?" Lily called from the living room that morning an hour before she was supposed to leave. I came down the stairs after showering and I saw her sitting on the couch, anxiously twisting a button on her ornate flowery blouse.
I plopped into a chair across from her to see her face looking much more tired than usual. Her blonde hair was looking half brushed and her eyes had dark circles below them. "Yeah?" I asked her. She pressed her lips together. "Can I ask you a question?" She softly spoke. I shrugged. "Go ahead." It didn't hit me until now that she may have caught me spying on her, to which filled my heart and head with immense fear. I saw what she did to Abram, and he's her brother. Would she do that to me? Her voice interrupted my thoughts however with a sigh. "Do...you still love me?"

I was not expecting that.

I sat so utterly stunned that she had to repeat her question for me to answer. "Oh, sorry." I added sheepishly. "Yeah...why do you ask?" I ask her, seeing her expression change from worried and tired to jittery and confused. "I-I just wanted to see. You have been awful quiet lately. I just didn't know if you just were not...feeling...anything for me anymore. I've been wondering about this...lately." She whispered sadly.
         I shook my head. "I don't know why you would think this...I love you. I always will." I assured her. She looked into my eyes, searching for a sign of hesitation or possible questioning, and I hoped that she found none. I wanted her to feel how I felt for her, maybe if I did have mixed feelings at the moment. I was just so deeply confused about everything, but I knew that what Lily and I had was real...right?
"I was just wondering. I'm sorry." She sadly replied after examining me. I shook my head. "...why did you feel the need to question?" I ask cautiously, something in the air settling uncomfortably around us.
        She shrugged after a few painful moments of silence. "I just...want us to be forever." She cracked almost on the verge of what looked like to be tears. I instinctively pulled her into a hug and cradled her in my arms. I hushed her, trying to not feel agitated by her continuous mood changes that seemed so explicitly...timed. Lily buried her face in my neck. We stayed here for what seemed like ten minutes while I hugged her close.
         She pulled away and looked at me smiling slightly, sniffling and wiping her distraught tears away. "I have an idea how we could ensure it..." she whispered somewhat excitedly. I nodded, painting a smile across my face. "Anything." I told her, not thinking in the sudden moment but just anything to help...help...who was I exactly helping by saying that?

"Do you mean that?"

          I mentally told myself to say no, for right now was not the time to make any promises especially when I had so many things mixed in my life. I was a literal train wreck, trying to please everyone when I really haven't been pleasing myself. Trying to make Lily happy while also tying to figure out who I was and why Margot was somehow connected was hell. But maybe one more time trying to attempt making her happy wouldn't hurt...

"Yes."

"How about we...after I get back...marry?"

         It wasn't the worst. It's not like I was going to get married to anyone else. Who else would I live my life with except Lily? This was for once the easiest choice I've had to make since I've known my girlfriend. I smiled and nodded. "I'd love to."

************************

         I dressed casual for tonight, throwing on a plain t-shirt and ripped jeans. My hair was slicked back and I threw on my checkered shoes. The sunset falling over the sky told me to hurry up and find the car keys Lily put away. I searched in many closets, drawers, or cases, yet I found nothing in any. I lastly checked the pantry, to which my eyes found the keys but also a peculiar bottle of what looked like to be an alcoholic drink...

You're gone...

You're actually gone...

I love you...

Only you...

Only you.

You.

        The memory ended as quick as it came, leaving me baffled and with the addition feeling of nausea. That was the second time it had happened ever since the night of the club. These meant something, something important. I wanted to scream. I wanted to know what these were. It was killing me, breaking every inch of my bones as I felt new feelings and more secrets form within me that needed to be explained. Were they coming because I was supposedly getting spontaneously better? Or was consistently seeing or thinking about someone that was helping me?

Just go to Margot and she'll tell you. By now, she has to.

And if she doesn't?

There is no doubt anymore, just do. Doubt only helps you forget what you want. Just go with your instincts now.

...I will.

Now, go to her.

Sorry for shortish chapter! And sorry if everything seems to slow or boring, because most definitely next chapter won't be. But anyways, thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed the chapter!!!! 😘😘😘😘😘😘