cupid paints blindly {book 2}

3

Margot's POV - 5:00 p.m., Tuesday, December 27th, 2016, Year 1.

     Jared has amnesia. He has freaking amnesia. He doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember our year. He doesn't remember our love. He doesn't remember anything.

Shut up, stop being so selfish!

I can't, I just want to cry.

Well, so do lots of his family members.

But...but...

Suck it up! It's not like he's going to forget you for good!

That was a conspiracy. Doctor Crow had told me yesterday that Jared's amnesia was caused by his excessive alcoholism, which started back in August about the time after the premiere. He said that the alcohol had deteriorated so many of his brain cells and bodily cells that it caused severe memory loss. The type of memory loss he had was retrograde, which luckily wasn't the most severe as the other types at least, yet still precautions were to be taken.
He told me that Jared was starting to progress with the basics yet would need some help occasionally and that he would allow me to talk with him in the cafeteria anytime of the day that was available. He said not to get my hopes up for anything promising, yet all I cared about was seeing him. I wasn't letting anything, not even amnesia, keep me from him ever again.

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      Tom visited me an hour before I planned to talk to Jared. He brought me a small, red velvet box for my Christmas present, and I hoped to God that it wasn't something guilt-tripping. "Margot, I just want you to know how much I truly care about you. And that if you ever feel like I don't, please just realize I do."

Note, he said "care", and not "love"...

      "Thank you, Tom. And I know. I care about you too." I told him, placing my hand on his. His eyes shimmered with agreement before he kissed my head, re-proclaimed his love, and left soon after. I felt bad for him still, wanting the best for the man I used to love. But I still couldn't bring myself to tell him, and I didn't even know when I could bring myself to do so. He deserved so much better.

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        I couldn't wait to see him. Even if he didn't remember me, he would in the future. I wouldn't need to tell him anything about my feelings, due to his knowledge of himself and his family being most important. But he would remember my love sooner or later. He had too. I needed him. I needed him to be well. I love him.
       The nurse wheeled me out on a wheelchair to the cafeteria about noon. My legs only ached slightly now, and I was told to be out of the hospital in two weeks. I would be able to see Jared and my family more frequently then.
"Mrs. Ackerly, Doctor Crow has suggested that you only talk about basic and small things, just so his mind isn't overwhelmed." The nurse rolling me to the elevator told me. I nodded as she reached and pushed the button. "And if he asks you any questions that you may or not know, do not speak of any false information that you do not know. And be sure to leave the family questions to his family; so that he can hear it from them himself."
      Even though I knew most of everything about Jared, she still had a point. My thoughts; however, continued to scream at me and command me to do the opposite.

Tell him you love him, that should be the definite thing to first come out of your mouth.

No, this isn't about me, it's about Jared.

Which is why you need to tell him you love him and that he loves you.

I'm doing what's right by sticking to their instructions.