cupid paints blindly {book 2}

22

Jared's POV - 8:30 a.m., Tuesday, February 28th, 2017, Year 1.

There she was. More importantly, here was I. Staring at this woman who has ruined and possibly saved my life for as long as my memory can span. Her expression was anything but blank, yet I couldn't exactly read it either. All distant noises began to quiet, sinking into a remaining feeling of timelessness, but not the serene one. No, all I felt was as if I got punched in the stomach.
       Was she preparing to do that to me? For not trusting her in the first place? Or did she plan on not talking to me at all, simply because I didn't trust her in the first place. These last few days strictly on pills have helped aid my memory to her, but how could I be sure that those aren't just lies either? Who could I believe even with those pills? What could I believe either those pills? The doctor said it was a natural side effect to feel anxiety and doubtfulness from the capsules, but how could I trust him either? After all, his medical facility let me go with Lily...
         What if I'm not remembering truth, but only things I want to be true? Or what if I'm only believing things that aren't true? What or who was the truth? And why did I suddenly feel that the truth was the blonde sitting paralyzed only a few feet away from me.

No, Jared! Don't trust anyone! If you don't trust, you don't get hurt!

Just shut up for once.

You'll need me one day.

That day is not today. I'm not even sure I can trust you.

And I'll just sit here and watch you spiral down into madness...

Maybe then I'll find out who I am.

      "Uh, Mr. Leto?" The man in the cap said. I clicked myself back into reality, feeling my cheeks warming up excessively. I hurriedly sat down besides Shannon and this man whom I presumed to be Will Smith at the meeting table. The whole room was large and rectangular, resembling your everyday conference rooms. Only exception were the numerous superhero posters plastered all over the walls. Hell, the only thing that was most likely not covered by a poster were the windows, and even they still managed to get overlooked.
       As I adjusted my chair, Margot never took her eyes off me once, and I don't feel myself getting hostile. It does bug me, nonetheless. I began to fumble with my Gucci jacket rim just to avoid making eye contact. I could see her face fall in my peripheral, making my stomach tighten in a slight pang of guilt since I was being rude in a way. Yet I continued to ignore her like nothing special was worth my attention. Remember, trust no one. Always be on guard. Even if you are declared "well", always be on guard.
        "Good morning." A loud voice proclaimed. My attention shot up to the man in the cap, who I assumed was the director David whom Shannon spoke to me about. "G'morning..." mumbled a few others, including myself. "I'd like to thank you all for coming, and I am excited to get to work on the newest project for D.C. and Warner, Gotham City Sirens."
       A round of applause at the mention of the project broke lose, a few cheers from Will beside me filled the room as well. I gave a small clap, too, since I guess it was the appropriate thing to do. I noticed that the brunette and red head were giggling to themselves over something the crew men in front of them probably said. Margot, who sat beside them, was clearly not interested in the compliments the men threw at her. Instead, of course, she just continued to gaze at me. I decided to meet her eyes with mine, and for the longest time I felt the sensation of flying and drowning. I didn't mind it, but I didn't particularly like it either. I felt Shannon nudge me and give me the "sit up straight and stop staring at Margot look", to which I felt annoyed and embarrassed by due to his own hypocrisy. I threw him a look, but apparently Margot had noticed it too and chuckled. Was having an older brother always like this?
            "I would like to go ahead and hand out the schedules for the whole production including costume fittings and make up. Official rehearsals won't begin until April when the scripts are ready, but we have set up a mandatory fitness and dietary plan for every single one of you main cast members. They vary depending on the character, but for some of us who need some exclusions due to health..." David looked directly at me with everyone else's eyes with the maximum force of a hawk's, "...we have made a separate schedule to appeal to those needs."
I quickly turned my head away, not liking the feeling of being called out for special needs. All eyes remained on me, some were blank and some were...angry. Not with boiling hatred, but rather with annoyance. Shannon told me this would most likely happen, due to the normal and shameful trend of a star to use personal information for gain. They most likely thought I was using the memory card to my advantage, which made me want to show them just how painfully awful it was to feel like there was no one you could trust or that you can't even remember what it's like to have memories.
      Maybe some people don't realize how precious the euphoria of life is before it's ripped away cruelly until nothing else remains except for a sad excuse of a human being. Even if I haven't suffered the most amongst many preceding me, I can already tell that I'm not the same man I used to be. And that doesn't go just for the mental capacity of my brain or Lily. Moreover, someone else who I can't wait to have myself remember...